eileen
Moderator & Resident Taxonomist
 Moderator
Joined: 07 Feb 2005
Location: Scotland (Map)
Posts: 11467
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| Posted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 2:26 pm Post subject: Gripe sheets. |
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After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
Here goes :
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And the best one for last..................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
.
.
.
I couldn't stop laughing when I read the mechanics answers!!!! 
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toni
Mistress of Garden Junque
Moderator
Joined: 07 Jan 2006
Location: North Texas (Map)
Posts: 5496
PlantStew: 521 |
| Posted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 2:35 pm Post subject: |
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Oh, these are hilarious!!!
Note to self.....do not read jokes while drinking coffee or at the very least have a towel handy.
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eileen
Moderator & Resident Taxonomist
Moderator
Joined: 07 Feb 2005
Location: Scotland (Map)
Posts: 11467
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| Posted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 3:28 pm Post subject: |
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OOPS hope the coffee wasn't too hot!!!!! 
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jubabe296
Official Garden Fairy
Joined: 18 Mar 2006
Location: south central Texas (Map)
Posts: 1180
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| Posted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 4:52 pm Post subject: |
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Really needed a laugh this morning Eileen! Those are really funny  Please be careful with the coffee toni! (hehe!)
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Frank
Happy Gardening
Administrator
Joined: 25 Jan 2005
Location: Malmö, Sweden
Posts: 9358
PlantStew: 1576 |
| Posted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 5:20 pm Post subject: |
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My favourite:
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
 @ image of mechanics installing a cat!
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