sunflower
On The Way Up
Joined: 28 Aug 2006
Location: buffalo,ny
Posts: 56
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| Posted: Sun Oct 01, 2006 3:37 am Post subject: Advice |
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I need some advice here...
my husband is a very caring wonderful but as a father he does things and shows affection to his 14 yrd in highschool that i do not understand.
I dunt understand what is normal healthy behavior as i did not share this with my father nor many other moms i know with their dads...
He still gives her piggy back rides on his back and she ways like 100 lbs,,,His mother has already spoke to him about showing his daughter more adult affection personally i think it makes her more immature and regresses but who am i ,,,just the STEp-mom...
Others have noticed this extreme closeness thinking she is just way too old for this...
any advice from step moms out there with teen girls..
she does have a boyfriend as well.. but when my husband is out with my family and with them i have been told they act like a couple...i guess i just done get it thats all...aren't girls here age more independent and not so like ties ti the hip of their dad or is this because her dad and mom have divorced...His mom just feels shes acts immature for age because of this and how he treat her like shes more 6 then 14 ...
its affects our marriage as well..
any advice help words of encouragement?????
sunflower
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sunflower
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Primsong
Flower of the Shire
Joined: 15 Apr 2006
Location: Oregon (Map)
Posts: 1769
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| Posted: Sun Oct 01, 2006 5:30 am Post subject: |
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Hi Sunflower - My advice would be to try speaking with him about it, that she needs to be able to see herself as a young adult and he can help her by showing her how she should expect to be treated by others at this age. If this is a dead-end or has already become a sore subject I can't say enough good about getting a good marriage & family counselor for you to talk this out with, both individually and then later as a couple. We aren't trained counselors here online, but there are some good ones in real life somewhere near you, no doubt, and they are worth every penny they cost. If money is an issue, you might ask at your church (if you attend) for a referral to a counselor that provides services on a sliding scale according to income. Good luck!
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eileen
Moderator & Resident Taxonomist
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Joined: 07 Feb 2005
Location: Scotland (Map)
Posts: 14179
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pondlady
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Joined: 05 Aug 2006
Location: New Orleans, La
Posts: 1829
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| Posted: Sun Oct 01, 2006 1:44 pm Post subject: |
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Hi Sunflower. As a retired psychologist, I suggest you seek answers with a counselor in person. S/he could be a trusted clergy member, a social worker at a mental health center. If you have insurance, check with a private therapist. Most of them take insurance.
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sunflower
On The Way Up
Joined: 28 Aug 2006
Location: buffalo,ny
Posts: 56
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| Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 7:41 pm Post subject: Thank you |
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thank you for the help advice and feedback i will check out those sites.
We are talking with our pastor
thanks
sunflower
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sunflower
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glendann
Official Garden Angel
Joined: 19 May 2006
Location: Texas (Map)
Posts: 8819
PlantStew: 289 |
| Posted: Thu Oct 05, 2006 4:41 am Post subject: |
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He should be able to help you with all of this.I hope it is settled soon for your sake.
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but by the moments that take our breath away.'
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