Droopy
 Regular Plants Contributor
Western Norway
Posts: 9336
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| Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2007 7:57 pm Post subject: Useless lessons for free |
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I've done lots of rather silly things in my life. Most of them I laugh at now, but I did not at the time. Anyway, I won't be doing any of the below mentioned things again, so anybody in need of tips are welcome to them:
- Never wear a national costume in a place with lots of tourists. Your cheeks will hurt from smiling after half an hour.
- Never appear in wedding dress where French or Spanish coaches are parked. 200 well-wish-kisses are at least 150 too many.
- Never park an auto camper with a sun shade near a tourist attraction when it rains. Suddenly two coachfuls of Koreans use it for cover while photographing the scenery, and you're stuck there for the duration.
- If you come off your horse whilst gallopping in the snow, do not stay down to make snow angels. It scares the heck out of your riding companions.
- Never yell "YI-HAA" wilst gallopping around bends. Kindergarten children are very easily scared.
- Never stand on tip-toe on top of the back of a rickety chair trying to get hold of band-aid from the top of the first-aid cupboard. You'll suddenly need a lot more than you thought.
- Never shout sweet nonsensical words without checking if anybody else but the horses are there.
- Never play "catch" with tame deer near a public road. Some drivers might end up in the ditch.
Anybody else's experiences are warmly welcomed.
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redrose
Michigan
Posts: 243
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| Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2007 9:16 pm Post subject: |
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Very amusing, and all very good tips. 
Here are a few life lessons I've learned thus far:
- Never take a bite of bubblegum flavored chapstick thinking perhaps it’s real bubblegum.
- Never attempt to teach yourself to work a manual car with a fence five feet in front of it.
- Never shove your foot in an ice-fishing hole to “see” if it has frozen over.
- Never allow baking soda and vinegar to have direct contact in a recipe that calls for both, it will result in much time spent in the restroom.
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eileen
Forum Moderator
Scotland
Posts: 18528
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| Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2007 9:57 pm Post subject: |
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Love your Nevers Droopy and Redrose.
Here are just a few of mine:
- Never lean over the 10 foot pond in your garden to get that 'really great shot' of a dragonfly - the water is freezing believe me and tastes foul!!
- Never apologise to a lamp post when you bump into it - other people think you're crazy.
- Never shut the front door behind you when you're taking out rubbish to the bin.
- Never take out rubbish without having your door key or a mobile 'phone with you.
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Droopy
Regular Plants Contributor
Western Norway
Posts: 9336
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| Posted: Mon Oct 08, 2007 6:38 am Post subject: |
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 Redrose and Eileen, thank you very much for your Nevers. I'll try not to!
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