Primsong
Flower of the Shire
Joined: 15 Apr 2006
Posts: 1765
Location: Oregon (Map)
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| Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 5:24 pm Post subject: How to install a home security system... |
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HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM:
1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16
work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a
copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines.
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:
Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went to the gun shop for more
ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they
attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't
think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.
PS - I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside .
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Droopy
Slug Slaughterer
Joined: 11 Aug 2007
Posts: 3552
Location: Western Norway (Map)
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| Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 5:37 pm Post subject: |
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 Duly noted!
_________________
The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.
-Bertrand Russell
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eileen
Moderator & Resident Taxonomist
 Moderator
Joined: 07 Feb 2005
Posts: 10340
Location: Scotland (Map)
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| Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 5:56 pm Post subject: |
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Hysterical!!! Loved it!!! 
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Evil Roy
On The Way Up
Joined: 04 Nov 2006
Posts: 115
Location: Deepinahearta, Texas
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| Posted: Sat Oct 27, 2007 2:12 pm Post subject: |
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I was at an indoor shooting range a few years ago and there were two women at the station next to me. After shooting for a while they picked out the target (a paper target with a human looking silhouette on it) with the most holes. One of the women told the other: "This is the one you put in the window." There's probably a story there somewhere, but sometimes it's best not to ask questions.
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Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc
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Droopy
Slug Slaughterer
Joined: 11 Aug 2007
Posts: 3552
Location: Western Norway (Map)
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| Posted: Sat Oct 27, 2007 4:09 pm Post subject: |
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That's so unfair Evil Roy! I want to know that story.
_________________
The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.
-Bertrand Russell
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