Capt Kirk
Ohio, USA
Posts: 3233
|
| Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 12:26 am Post subject: Don't ask Grandma! |
|
Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if
> they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town
> prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly
> woman to the stand.
>
> He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
>
> She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've
> known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big
> disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate
> people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot
> when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything
> more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
>
> The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he
> pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense
> attorney?"
>
> She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley
> since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking
> problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law
> practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he
> cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife.
> Yes, I know him."
>
> The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both
> counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If
> either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the
> electric chair."
>
_________________
I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
trudy
South Georgia, left at nowhere
Posts: 264
|
| Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 12:56 am Post subject: |
|
Good one!
|
|
| Back to top |
|
Droopy
 Regular Plants Contributor
Western Norway
Posts: 9272
|
| Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 8:11 am Post subject: |
|
 Sounds like the woman keeps busy!
_________________
The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.
-Bertrand Russell
|
|
| Back to top |
|
Biita
Norway
Posts: 2048
|
| Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 11:59 am Post subject: |
|
that is great!!! lol.
_________________
If you don't have faith in what you believe, then don't believe at all.
Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened! - Dr. Seuss
|
|
| Back to top |
|
SongofJoy57
Foothills of North Carolina Z = 7a & 7b
Posts: 887
|
| Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 12:56 pm Post subject: |
|
lol . . . that is hilarious!!! 
|
|
| Back to top |
|
Netty
Regular Plants Contributor
Southern Ontario zone 5a
Posts: 9958
|
| Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 1:09 pm Post subject: |
|
Too funny!
|
|
| Back to top |
|
glendann
Texas
Posts: 9228
|
| Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 4:41 pm Post subject: |
|
Soooooo funny .Yep grandma knows all.LOL
_________________
'Life is not measured by the breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.'
|
|
| Back to top |
|
dirt2diamonds
Mississippi
Posts: 382
|
| Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 4:57 am Post subject: |
|
O.K that who I want to be when I grow up. Go Granny!!!
That is a good one.
|
|
| Back to top |
|
eileen
Forum Moderator
Scotland
Posts: 18013
|
| Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 12:48 pm Post subject: |
|
Grandma rules!!!!
_________________
|
|
| Back to top |
|
LilyPlanter77351
Livingston, Texas
Posts: 89
|
| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 10:28 pm Post subject: |
|
OMG they put my mother-in-law on the stand! LOL betcha her favorite chair sat between the telephone and the window too.
_________________
"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies."
"There's no better phychiatrist in the world, than a puppy licking your face."
"Your dog is the only one on earth who loves you more than himself."
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
