Capt Kirk
Thank a Veteran today!
Joined: 10 Sep 2005
Location: Ohio, USA
Posts: 1679
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| Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 12:26 am Post subject: Don't ask Grandma! |
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Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if
> they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town
> prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly
> woman to the stand.
>
> He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
>
> She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've
> known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big
> disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate
> people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot
> when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything
> more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
>
> The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he
> pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense
> attorney?"
>
> She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley
> since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking
> problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law
> practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he
> cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife.
> Yes, I know him."
>
> The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both
> counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If
> either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the
> electric chair."
>
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I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it.
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trudy
Showing Great Promise
Joined: 14 Jan 2008
Location: South Georgia, left at nowhere (Map)
Posts: 278
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| Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 12:56 am Post subject: |
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Good one!
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Droopy
Slug Slaughterer
Joined: 11 Aug 2007
Location: Western Norway (Map)
Posts: 4817
PlantStew: 5804 |
| Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 8:11 am Post subject: |
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 Sounds like the woman keeps busy!
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The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.
-Bertrand Russell
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Biita
Arctic-ally Challenged Forager
Joined: 31 Oct 2007
Location: Norway (Map)
Posts: 1809
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| Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 11:59 am Post subject: |
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that is great!!! lol.
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If you don't have faith in what you believe, then don't believe at all.
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SongofJoy57
Showing Great Promise
Joined: 20 Oct 2007
Location: Foothills of North Carolina Z = 7a & 7b (Map)
Posts: 726
PlantStew: 46 |
| Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 12:56 pm Post subject: |
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lol . . . that is hilarious!!! 
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Netty
Chaotic Gardener
Joined: 04 Nov 2006
Location: Southern Ontario zone 5a
Posts: 4751
PlantStew: 5038 |
| Posted: Sun Feb 17, 2008 1:09 pm Post subject: |
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Too funny!
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glendann
Official Garden Angel
Joined: 19 May 2006
Location: Texas (Map)
Posts: 6998
PlantStew: 219 |
| Posted: Mon Feb 18, 2008 4:41 pm Post subject: |
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Soooooo funny .Yep grandma knows all.LOL
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Live today to the fullest because tomorrow is not promised.
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dirt2diamonds
Showing Great Promise
Joined: 31 Oct 2007
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 410
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| Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 4:57 am Post subject: |
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O.K that who I want to be when I grow up. Go Granny!!!
That is a good one.
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eileen
Moderator & Resident Taxonomist
 Moderator
Joined: 07 Feb 2005
Location: Scotland (Map)
Posts: 11529
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| Posted: Tue Feb 19, 2008 12:48 pm Post subject: |
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Grandma rules!!!!
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LilyPlanter77351
On The Way Up
Joined: 29 Feb 2008
Location: Livingston, Texas
Posts: 93
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| Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 10:28 pm Post subject: |
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OMG they put my mother-in-law on the stand! LOL betcha her favorite chair sat between the telephone and the window too.
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"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies."
"There's no better phychiatrist in the world, than a puppy licking your face."
"Your dog is the only one on earth who loves you more than himself."
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