Primsong
Flower of the Shire
Joined: 15 Apr 2006
Location: Oregon (Map)
Posts: 1770
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| Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 3:46 pm Post subject: Simple Home Remedies |
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A friend sent this one to me and I immediately thought of you guys.... ha!
AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.
2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.
4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM.
9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
 
So, how many of us have tried to fix our greenhouses, wheelbarrows and assorted gadgets with either WD-40 or duct tape? *looks at duct tape over cracked window and sheepishly raises hand*
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Netty
Chaotic Gardener
Joined: 04 Nov 2006
Location: Southern Ontario zone 5a
Posts: 4751
PlantStew: 5038 |
| Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 4:15 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK. |
Oh YUCK!
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glendann
Official Garden Angel
Joined: 19 May 2006
Location: Texas (Map)
Posts: 6998
PlantStew: 219 |
| Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 4:17 pm Post subject: |
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Those are just too Funny Primsong.Thanks for the smile.
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Live today to the fullest because tomorrow is not promised.
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jungseed
On The Way Up
Joined: 12 Nov 2007
Location: Pardeeville,WI
Posts: 54
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| Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 4:18 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks, I needed a laugh this morning!
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eileen
Moderator & Resident Taxonomist
 Moderator
Joined: 07 Feb 2005
Location: Scotland (Map)
Posts: 11529
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| Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 4:31 pm Post subject: |
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4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
My husband suffers from HBP. Must remember this tip the next time he goes to the GP for a check.
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Droopy
Slug Slaughterer
Joined: 11 Aug 2007
Location: Western Norway (Map)
Posts: 4817
PlantStew: 5804 |
| Posted: Wed Feb 27, 2008 4:58 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | 7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE. |
Yep, I've got both in my car, and I use both frequently. 
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The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.
-Bertrand Russell
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Palm Tree
Knows Their Stuff
Joined: 17 Sep 2007
Location: Cape Town (Map)
Posts: 922
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| Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 7:22 am Post subject: |
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Yucky, funny, disgusting, but what the heck.
I like this one:
9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
IT seems like most professions make use of a hammer.
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Backyard Landscape Design
Candle Making
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trudy
Showing Great Promise
Joined: 14 Jan 2008
Location: South Georgia, left at nowhere (Map)
Posts: 278
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| Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 10:35 am Post subject: |
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Those are good one.
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Sherry8
I Love Birds!
Joined: 06 Nov 2007
Location: Wisconsin...zone 4 (Map)
Posts: 1057
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| Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 11:05 am Post subject: |
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I like number 8....thanks for the chuckle...
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petunia
Highly Skillful
Joined: 13 May 2006
Location: northern michigan
Posts: 1573
PlantStew: 165 |
| Posted: Thu Feb 28, 2008 3:25 pm Post subject: |
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Those are funny. Thanks for posting.
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Petunia
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Primsong
Flower of the Shire
Joined: 15 Apr 2006
Location: Oregon (Map)
Posts: 1770
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| Posted: Fri Feb 29, 2008 6:09 pm Post subject: |
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| Palm Tree wrote: | | Yucky, funny, disgusting, but what the heck. |
Sounds like exactly what I was thinking - ha! I sort of cringed and laughed at the same time.
My favorite is the mousetrap on the alarm clock. 
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SongofJoy57
Showing Great Promise
Joined: 20 Oct 2007
Location: Foothills of North Carolina Z = 7a & 7b (Map)
Posts: 726
PlantStew: 46 |
| Posted: Sat Mar 01, 2008 10:57 am Post subject: |
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lol . . . I liked the WD 40 and duct tape advice
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