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A Friend's helpful advice. ?

Category: My Garden World | Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 3:07 pm

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1. BATHE IN IT
Instead of sipping a beer, try soaking in it. Pour a bottle of German Badebier in the tub and lie back for a real bubble bath.

2. PUT OUT A FIRE
Although certainly not as effective as a real fire extinguisher, a can or bottle of beer can mimic one if none is available. Simply shake and spritz. After all, beer is mostly water. This works on small grill flare-ups, and some people have been known to carry an emergency can in their car in case of engine fire. Or at least that's what they tell the state troopers.

3. MARINATE MEAT
Beer is slightly acidic – and that makes it an excellent meat tenderizer. This allows you to enjoy leaner cuts that otherwise might be too tough. Beer also won't alter the meat's flavor as much as wine- and vinegar-based marinades do. Poke a few holes in the meat, put it in a large resealable bag, and add beer. (English ale is great for beef.) Marinate in the refrigerator for a few hours or, better yet, overnight. Do not drink the marinade.

4. POLISH POTS
In days of yore, the last bit of beer from spent kegs was collected and used to polish the copper vats in breweries. Because of its acidity, you can just pour some on, let it sit for a while, then wipe it off. It also works well on Revere Ware pots.

5. MAKE BEER BARBECUE SAUCE
Ingredients:
1 medium Spanish onion, diced
1 medium banana pepper, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 Tbsp capers
5 ripe tomatoes, diced
1 small can tomato paste
1/3 c each wine vinegar, olive oil, soy sauce, brown sugar1 Tbsp balsamic vinegar
2 Tbsp each Worcestershire sauce, Tabasco, honey, Dijon mustard, horseradish, oregano
2 Tbsp fresh ground pepper
1 tsp cumin
Dash of ground clove
12 ounces amber ale or porter
Combine all ingredients in a large saucepan and boil for 10 minutes. Lower heat and simmer about 4 hours until thickened. Cool and refrigerate for 24 hours so the flavors can meld. Then baste everything but the dog with it.

6. SHAMPOO HAIR
Not only is beer the remedy for a dull party, it's also the cure for dull hair. Dump a cup into a small saucepan and bring it to a boil over medium heat. Let it reduce until there's 1/4 cup left. This removes the alcohol, which can dry hair. Let the beer cool, then mix it with a cup of your favorite shampoo. Pour it into an empty shampoo bottle, then wash and rinse as usual. It'll give your hair more shine and luster.

7. LOOSEN RUSTY BOLTS
Pour some beer on them and wait a few minutes. The carbonation may help break up the rust.

8. CLEAR UP BROWN SPOTS IN YOUR LAWN
Spraying either home brew or Rolling Rock (both are chemical-free) on those annoying brown spots in your lawn. (Either that, or just stop peeing there.) The grass will absorb the sugar in the beer and draw energy from it.

9. STEAM CLAMS OR MUSSELS
Fill a large steamer pot with equal parts water and beer, then bring to a boil. Steam the randy little mollusks until their shells open. Couldn't be simpler. The beer imparts a nice flavor.

10. PASS A KIDNEY STONE
As you've undoubtedly noticed, beer is a diuretic. It helps flush the kidneys and bladder. This can be beneficial if you're suffering from a bladder infection or kidney stone. You can drink water or cranberry juice but beer also works. It helps dilate the ureters [the tubes connecting the kidneys and bladder], which may help you pass a stone quicker and easier. Plus, the alcohol will take the edge off the pain." But don't drink beer if you're taking antibiotics or narcotic pain medications. You'll render the drugs useless and make yourself sick.

11. BOIL SHRIMP
Open three 12-ounce bottles of Yuengling Premium or a comparable mild pilsner and pour them into a large soup pot. Wait for the beer to go flat (about 2 hours), then add 1/4 cup Old Bay Seasoning and 2 tsp ground turmeric (to turn the shrimp a rich yellow). Bring to a boil over medium-high heat, then cook for 5 minutes.
Meanwhile, rinse 2 pounds of extra-large raw shrimp in cold water and drain. Add them to the pot and stir. Cover and cook for 5 minutes, no more. Quickly remove the shrimp using a large slotted spoon. Serve immediately with cocktail sauce and, you guessed it, more beer. This same recipe makes great lobster, but cook it for 12 to 15 minutes.

12. KILL SLUGS
Gather a few empty salsa jars (or similar wide-mouth containers) and fill them a third of the way with cheap beer. Then bury them about 15 feet from your garden, girlfriend, or whatever you're trying to protect. Make sure the rims are almost level with the soil surface. For some reason, slugs love beer. They'll find the traps, drop in, and drown. Do this in the evening, let them party all night, and give them an honorable burial in the morning.

13. FIND DUE NORTH
Okay, here's the scenario. A bit far-fetched, we admit, but look who's going to be our next president. Let's say you're hopelessly lost in the wilderness, and all you have is a can of beer, a sewing needle, a small bowl, and a pair of extra-large silk panties. (Because this is a matter of life and death, the camp counselor should give hers up.) First, open the beer, pour some into the bowl, and let it go flat. (Better drink the rest; this may not work.) Next, magnetize the needle by stroking it repeatedly in one direction with the panties. This will generate a charge of static electricity. Then float the needle in the beer. When it stops, it'll be pointing in a north-south direction. Now get outta there!

14. SOOTHE TIRED FEET
Pour a couple of cold ones into a bucket and soak your dogs. Ice-cold beer with lots of carbonation can be soothing for tired feet. Stop at two; you don't want to start staggering.

15. MAKE A BEER SLIDE
Forget volleyball and croquet. At your next party, lay a large vinyl tarp on a slope, then make it slick with lots of beer. Have your friends strip down to their underwear or swim trunks, get a running start, and slide downhill on their butts.

16. LOWER YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE
John Palmer, a hypertensive home-brewer and engineer in Monrovia, California, puts a handful of dried hops or hops pellets (available at any home-brew store) in a coffeemaker and brews them with hot water. It makes for a bitter tea, but he claims it brings his blood pressure back to normal within 10 minutes by dilating the capillaries. There may be something to it. A person who's intoxicated is usually flushed and sweaty. Some ingredient is dilating the blood vessels, which, in turn, lowers blood pressure. We don't advocate this as a replacement for medication, though.

17. TRICK A CHEAP LANDLORD
Live in an apartment where the landlord pays the heat bill and sets the thermostat pretty low? Ice up a can of beer in the freezer, then set it atop the lockbox that encloses the thermostat. The cold from the beer will trick the thermostat into thinking the temperature has dropped so it'll turn the heat on.

18. BAKE BEER BREAD
You already know how to put a bun in the oven. Now it's time to go all the way. Here's a healthful, foolproof recipe for high-fiber beer bread:
2 3/4 c all-purpose flour
2 Tbsp each sugar, baking powder
1/4 c ground flaxseed
1 tsp each salt, dried basil, dried rosemary, thyme
1/2 c unsalted sunflower seeds
1 Tbsp cooking oil
12 oz beer, at room temperature
Mix all the dry ingredients. Add oil and beer. Stir until dough is just mixed. Put dough in a greased 9x5x3-inch loaf pan. Bake at 375 F for 45 minutes or until nicely browned. Remove from oven and let bread cool in pan for 10 minutes. Remove from pan to cool some more.

19. CATCH MICE
Slugs aren't the only pests with a fatal attraction to beer, you can also trap mice with it. By setting out a few small pails or bowls of beer with a small ramp leading up to the lip. The mice will be attracted by the smell, hop in, drink their fill, then be unable to climb out.

20. TIE A FLY
This tip is from the book Curiosities of Ale and Beer, published in 1889: Mix beer, chimney soot, walnut leaves, and a little powdered alum in a small pot. Bring to a boil, then chill. Dipping any natural materials you're using in this solution prior to tying is supposed to make for a tighter, more attractive fly. No promises as to whether it will catch more fish, though.

21. CURE INSOMNIA
Greg Smith, author of The Beer Drinker's Bible, says women often show up at his brewery asking to buy not his beer but the hops he uses to brew it. "They sew it into pillows," he explains. "The smell of it is supposed to be a sleep aid, especially for colicky babies. I've never tried it, but we get enough requests that there must be something to it." Hops is a type of flower, though, so be careful if you have allergies.

22. MASSAGE YOURSELF
A full can of beer is a great self-massage tool. For instance, take off your shoes and roll a can underfoot. Or put one in the crook of your back or between your shoulder blades and lean back against a wall, rolling it around as you do so. It works just about anywhere – quads, glutes, neck, calves. The pressure loosens up muscle tissue and encourages bloodflow to the area.

23. CALM AN UPSET STOMACH
Sipping on a highly carbonated beer can settle a stomach just like Seven-Up or Sprite can. Plus, the alcohol helps buffer pain.

24. BUILD YOUR NEXT HOME
Earthship, a house in New Mexico, has walls made of empty beer cans and concrete. Amy Duke, a spokeswoman, explains that instead of using forms for the cement, builders put down alternating layers of mortar and cans. You can do the same to create retaining walls for gardens and other landscaping. Earthship also contains a thermal-mass refrigerator that uses full cans of beer as insulation. The cans line the walls of the unit, helping keep the temperature constant while minimizing energy usage. A ceiling vent allows frigid desert air to flow in during the night. The beer absorbs this cold, but never freezes because of its alcohol content. When the hatch is closed during the day, the beer releases the coolness. The same thing happens when you open one and drink it.

25. COOK RICE
Rinse 1 cup jasmine rice in water. Do it twice more, then drain well. Next, dump the rice into a medium-size pot and add 12 ounces of beer. (A nut-brown ale works well.) Bring the mixture to a boil, turn the heat to low, and cover the pot. Simmer for 20 minutes, then remove from the stove and cool for an additional 10 minutes. The rice won't be lumpy, and it'll have a nuttier flavor – just like you after you eat it.

26. STOP SNORING
If your log-sawing is ripping a hole in your marriage, try this simple remedy: Get a pocket T-shirt and a 6-ounce mini-can of beer. Put the can in the pocket and fasten it closed with a safety pin. Just before you go to bed, put the shirt on backward. Research shows that you're more likely to snore when resting on your back. This little setup prevents you from rolling over. Plus, come morning, you won't have to get out of bed for breakfast.

27. BUILD A PLANE
No doubt about it, Duane Mathis is just plane nuts. A pilot and aircraft aficionado, he started building model airplanes out of beer cans about 10 years ago. Now, at his Web site(www.bcairoriginals.com), he sells the plans for eight categories of beer-can planes, including vintage tri-wings, helicopters, Warhawks, and ones that actually fly. Brings new meaning to the term "getting buzzed."

28. ROAST CHICKEN
To make "Drunken Chicken," buy a few medium-size whole birds and a six-pack of beer. Drink half a can of beer, cut off the top third of the can, and add 1 tsp salt, 1 tsp pepper, 1 tsp Worcestershire sauce, 2 Tbsp liquid crab boil, and 1 tsp creole seasoning.
Then shove the can into the chicken and place it in a secure, standing position on the grill. As the brew boils, it'll intoxicate the bird with flavor. Takes about 1 hour.

29. ICE A HAMSTRING
Frozen or very cold cans of beer make great ice packs. Hold one against whatever is ailing you – a sore muscle, a sunburned neck, a pounding headache. With an Ace bandage, you can even wrap a frosty 16-ouncer against the back of your thigh. Or use a sweatband to strap a can near your elbow after a tennis match. A metal can will transmit the cold very rapidly. Just make sure to put some thin fabric between the skin and the beer can to avoid frostbite.

30. BUILD DELIGHTFUL PATIO FURNITURE
To start, you'll need:
About 65 assorted beer caps
1-foot square piece of 1/4-inch plywood
Four, 1-to1 1/2-inch-square, 18-inch posts
Four 12x2-inch strips of lattice
Four, 3-inch dry-wall screws
Some tacking nails
A tube of tub-and-tile adhesive
Simply screw the plywood to the posts, brace them with lattice as shown, and glue the caps to the top in whatever creative arrangement you like. Warning: Don't leave the finished table out in the rain, because the caps will rust.

31. TAME A WILD HAIR
A few drops of beer is sticky enough to subdue any sudden uprising on your eyebrow or scalp that you spot in a barroom mirror. Just wet your index finger and demurely slick it down. Think of it as Miller mousse.

32. SCALE FISH
Nail or glue three or four beer caps to a sturdy piece of wood that's roughly 6 inches long, 1 inch wide, and 1/2 inch thick. Keep the caps in a line and make sure the serrated edges are facing out. Then attack those fish.


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Thoughts

Category: Humor??? | Posted: Wed Feb 28, 2007 5:01 pm

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"There are people who reshape the world by force or argument but the cat just lies there, dozing, and the world quietly reshapes itself to suit his comfort and convenience." --Alan and Ivy Dodd

"God made the cat in order that man might have the pleasure of caressing the lion." --Fernand Mery

"Who could believe such pleasure from a wee ball o' fur?" --Irish saying

"A Cat sleeps fat, yet walks thin." --Fred Schwab

"The last thing I would accuse a cat of is innocence." --Edward Palley

"There are no ordinary cats." --Colette

"A sleeping cat is ever alert." --Fred Schwab

"In a cat's eyes, all things belong to cats." --English Proverb

"Even overweight cats instinctively know the cardinal rule: when fat, arrange yourself in slim poses." --John Weitz

"To please himself only the cat purrs." --Irish proverb

"Never ask a hungry cat whether he loves you for yourself alone." --Dr. Louis J. Camuti

"The only mystery about the cat is why it ever decided to become a domestic animal." --Sir Compton Mackenzie

"A cat determined not to be found can fold itself up like a pocket handkerchief if it wants to." --Dr. Louis J. Camuti

"Since each of us is blessed with only one life, why not live it with a cat?" --Robert Stearns

"Cats are always elegant." --John Weitz

"If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat." --Mark Twain

"A cat has too much spirit to have no heart." --Ernest Menault

"You can't look at a sleeping cat and be tense." --Jane Pauley

"Like a graceful vase, a cat, even when motionless, seems to flow." --George Will

"The cat pretends to sleep that it may see the more clearly." --Chateaubriand

"All animals are equal but some are more equal than others." --George Orwell

"The idea of calm exists in a sitting cat." --Jules Reynard

Last edited: Thu Mar 01, 2007 12:42 am

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Just a quick note.

Category: My Garden World | Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2007 11:06 pm

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Hi, haven't been on much lately, middle of tax season and very busy. Just taking a minute to say "I'm not really dead here." :)

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More Feline Physics

Category: Humor??? | Posted: Sat Dec 30, 2006 1:37 pm

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Law of Cat Elongation - A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.

Law of Cat Obstruction - A cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum amount of human foot traffic.

Law of Cat Acceleration - A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.

Law of Dinner Table Attendance - Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

Law of Rug Configuration - No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.

Law of Obedience Resistance - A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.

First Law of Energy Conservation - Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.

Second Law of Energy Conservation - Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.

Law of Milk Consumption - A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.

Law of Furniture Replacement - A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

Law of Cat Landing - A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often the mid- section of an unsuspecting, reclining human.

Law of Fluid Displacement - A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.


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Feline Physics

Category: Humor??? | Posted: Fri Dec 29, 2006 11:32 am

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Feline Physics

Law of Cat Inertia - A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

Law of Cat Motion - A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

Law of Cat Magnetism - All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

Law of Cat Thermodynamics - Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.

Law of Cat Stretching - A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.

Law of Cat Sleeping - All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat.

Law of Refrigerator Observation - If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.

Law of Electric Blanket Attraction - Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.

Law of Random Comfort Seeking - A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.

Law of Bag/Box Occupancy - All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

Law of Cat Embarrassment - A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.

Law of Cat Disinterest - A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.

Law of Pill Rejection - Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.

Law of Cat Composition - A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.


Last edited: Fri Dec 29, 2006 11:32 am

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Famous Quotes

Category: Humor??? | Posted: Wed Dec 13, 2006 4:19 pm

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There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat.-Wesley Bates

I've had met many thinkers and many cats, but the wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.- H. Taine

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshiped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.-Anonymous

Dogs come when they are called, cats take a message and get back to you later.-Mary Bly

To err is human, to purr is feline.-Robert Byrne

"Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia." -- Joseph Wood Krutch

"There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats." -- Anonymous

"I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior." -- Hippolyte Taine

"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." -- Albert Schweitzer

"The cat has too much spirit to have no heart." -- Ernest Menaul

"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God." -- Unknown

"Time spent with cats is never wasted." -- Colette

"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well." -- Missy Dizick

"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want." -- Joseph Wood Krutch

"My husband said it was him or the cat... I miss him sometimes." -- Unknown

"I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic." -- Unknown

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Collection of sayings

Category: Humor??? | Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2006 4:07 am

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In the Spring, at the end of the day, you should smell like dirt.

If your knees aren't green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life..

A gardener's work is never done---And therein lies the pleasure. Happiness stems from always having something to do, something to love, and something to look forward to.

If you want to be happy for an hour, get drunk.
If you want to be happy for three days, get married.
If you want to be happy for eight days, kill your pig and eat it.
But if you want to be happy forever, become a gardener.--Chinese Proverb

You are closer to God in a flower garden than in all the churches on earth.

Gardening is a way of showing that you believe in tomorrow.

Do not squander time, for that's the stuff life is made of..Benjamin Franklin

There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."...Dave Barry

"How lovely is the silence of growing things."

One who plants a garden, plants happiness..Chinese proverb

"Don't grumble that roses have thorns, be thankful that thorns have roses."

"We come from the earth, we return to the earth, and in between we garden."

"The love of gardening is a seed once sown that never dies."...Gertrude Jekyll

Warning, I'm losing my Impatiens

Leave space in your garden for the fairies to dance.

Trespassers will be composted

"This garden was made by doing impractical things we could not afford at the wrong time of year."

Gardeners know all the good dirt

I want to have a little house
With sunlight on the floor,
A chimney with a rosy hearth,
And lilacs by the door;
With windows looking East and West,
And a crooked apple tree,
And room beside the garden fence
For Hollyhocks to be! ~Nancy Bird Turner

There's peace within a garden,
A peace so deep and calm
That when the heart is trouble
It's like a soothing balm.

There's life within a garden,
A life that still goes on
Filling empty places
When older plants have gone.

There's glory in the garden
At every time of year,
Spring, summer, autumn, winter,
To fill the heart with cheer.

So ever tend your garden
It's beauty to increase,
For in it you'll find solace,
And in it you'll find peace.

Last edited: Wed Dec 13, 2006 4:19 pm

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The Pink Dress

Category: Humor??? | Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2006 4:03 am

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There was this little girl sitting by herself in the park. Everyone passed by her and never stopped to see why she looked so sad. Dressed in a worn pink dress, barefoot and dirty, the girl just sat and watched the people go by. She never tried to speak. She never said a word. Many people passed by her, but no one would stop.
The next day I decided to go back to the park in curiosity to see if the little girl would still be there. Yes, she was there, right in the very spot where she was yesterday, and still with the same sad look in her eyes.
Today I was to make my own move and walk over to the little girl. For as we all know, a park full of strange people is not a place for young children to play alone. As I got closer I could see the back of the little girl's dress. It was grotesquely shaped. I figured that was the reason people just passed by and made no effort to speak to her.
Deformities are a low blow to our society and, heaven forbid if you make a step toward assisting someone who is different. As I got closer, the little girl lowered her eyes slightly to avoid my intent stare.
As I approached her, I could see the shape of her back more clearly. She was grotesquely shaped in a humped over form. I smiled to let her know it was OK; I was there to help, to talk. I sat down beside her and opened with a simple, "Hello."! The little girl acted shocked, and stammered a "hi"; after a long stare into my eyes. I smiled and she shyly smiled back. We talked until darkness fell and the park was completely empty. I asked the girl why she was so sad.
The little girl looked at me with a sad face said, "Because, I'm different." I immediately said, "That you are!"; and smiled. The little girl acted even sadder and said, "I know." "Little girl," I said, "you remind me of an angel, sweet and innocent." She looked at me and smiled, then slowly she got to her feet and said, "Really?" "Yes, you're like a little Guardian Angel sent to watch over all people walking by." She nodded her head yes, and smiled.
With that she opened the back of her pink dress and allowed her wings to spread, then she said "I am." "I'm your Guardian Angel," with a twinkle in her eye. I was speechless -- sure I was seeing things.
She said, "For once you thought of someone other than yourself. My job here is done". I got to my feet and said, "Wait, why did no one stop to help an angel?" She looked at me, smiled, and said, "You're the only one that could see me," and then she was gone. And with that, my life was changed dramatically.
So, when you think you're all you have, remember, your angel is always watching over you. Like the story says, we all need someone... And, every one of your friends is an Angel in their own way. The value of a friend is measured in the heart. I hope your Guardian Angel watches over you always.

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THE CREATION ( OF PETS )

Category: Humor??? | Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2006 3:49 am

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Adam and Eve said, "Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us."
And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves."
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased.
And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal." And God said, "No problem. Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."
And dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them. And they were comforted. And God was pleased.
And dog was content and wagged his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that an angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well."
And God said, "No problem! I will create for them a companion who will be with them forever and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration."
And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam and Eve.
And cat would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into cat's eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings.
And Adam and Eve learned humility.
And they were greatly improved.
And God was pleased.
And Dog was happy.
And Cat didn't give a shit

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What is a Cat?

Category: Humor??? | Posted: Mon Dec 11, 2006 3:46 am

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1. Cats do what they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They're totally unpredictable.
4. When you want to play, they want to be alone.
5. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
6. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
7. They're moody.
8. They leave hair everywhere.

CONCLUSION: They're tiny women in little fur coats.


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