Being called by your first name

Discussion in 'The Village Square' started by marlingardener, Feb 1, 2016.

  1. marlingardener

    marlingardener Happy

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    I like friends (and that includes Stewies) to call me by my first name. We've known each other for a bit, and I like y'all.
    However, for someone I've just met to call me by my first name is annoying. A clerk at a store where I used my credit card called me by my first name. She wasn't wearing a name badge so I couldn't return the "compliment."
    I don't like children (anyone under the age of 18 and some over that age) to call me by my first name. I'm older, bigger, and meaner than you can imagine, little tyke, so be respectful!
    How do you feel about being called by your first name?
     
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  3. TheBip

    TheBip Young Pine

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    I dont like strangers calling me by my first name, it weirds me out. And it often happens at work, since I have to wear a name tag. I dont know a whole lot of kids and I dont tend to talk to kids much, so not sure how I feel about that.
    When I meet new people I like, I tell them I prefer to be called Jen. When I feel neutral towards new people, I just let them call me by my full name, Jennifer.
     
  4. carolyn

    carolyn Strong Ash

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    Jane I kind of like the "miss Carolyn" title from the younger generation... Respect. I had a tyke at my farmers market who wanted to know what to call "my man" ... I told him mr. carolyn...we all hee hawed over that one.. then I told him... "mr. Kevin" and he was good with that.
     
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  5. toni

    toni Mistress of Garden Junque Staff Member Moderator Plants Contributor

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    It bothers me not.

    I grew up calling my parent's close friends by their first names as their kids called my parents by their first names. Teachers, older people who expected it and people in authority were not called by their first names.

    Many stores encourage employees to use a customers first name to make customers feel at ease shopping there and to show that they are a friendly business. All the employees at stores where I shop have name tags with only their first name so they expect to be called by their first name. And they would have been seen as a compliment having someone care enough about them as a person to use their name. Having worked in retail in the past, being called 'hey you' or 'sales girl' does nothing for your self esteem.

    A person in the employ of someone else (maid, gardener, nanny, etc.) would most likely be required to forgo using the employers first name out of respect based on the class system.

    But a store clerk is not in my employ so calling each other by first names seems like a normal thing to do. They could be the mom of my child's friend, someone who lives in around the corner from me, a member of the same garden club, someone I do not know really well but requiring them to call me Mrs. in a different venue would be rude on my part.
     
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2016
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  6. eileen

    eileen Resident Taxonomist Staff Member Moderator Plants Contributor

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    I dislike being called by my first name unless it's someone I know. My pet hate is if I'm in hospital and every, tea lady, porter or nurse think it's OK to use my christian name without asking me first. I just think it's more respectful to gain permission first before using my first name.
     
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  7. 2ofus

    2ofus Hardy Maple

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    If a person introduces themselves as Mr., Miss, or Mrs. then that's what I call them. If it's an employee with a name tag with I will call them by whatever is on the tag as that is what the establishment wants. I'm a casual person though and prefer to be called by my first name.
     
  8. 102christa

    102christa Seedling

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    We have this horrible tradition in Afrikaans (my mother tongue) where you call any woman more than 10 years older than you "tannie" (aunt) and a man "oom" (uncle). I hate being called tannie! I'm involved in a children's charity organisation and I've convinced them all to call me by my name. Until their parents shows up and then it's "tannie" again. Not only does it make me feel old but it feels like I'm just part of a nondescript "older" group of people and not me anymore.
     
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  9. Droopy

    Droopy Slug Slaughterer Plants Contributor

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    I live in Norway. The rules for use of christian names, surnames, titles and nicks are complicated since they're almost non-existing. Hardly anybody use Mr., Mrs or Miss here. If we do, it's often to get somebody's attention to state a point or to signal a high level of respect. We might call somebody by their surname if we feel we'd like to keep a distance. My boss's boss would be *surname* without the Mrs. or Mr. but not always. My doctor is *surname*. My previous doc was *christian name*. If somebody call me Mrs. *surname* I tell them that's my mother-in-law. We rarely use people's titles when we address them. The exception is the royalty I guess, if we meet them face-to-face.

    I struggle hard when I meet Germans. They're very formal and tend to introduce themselves as Herr Doktor *surname* or Frau Professor *surname*. Very un-Norwegian. But I do try to be polite and address foreign people the way they introduce themselves.
     
  10. Sjoerd

    Sjoerd Mighty Oak

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    I see it to the letter like you do Jane.
    We have a certain way to talk here with people...there are certain forms --familiar and non-familiar. Calling someone older or unknown to you is a big no-no, just like using the familiar form of "you"under those same circumstances.

    The social structure is becoming laxer and I do not care for it...in fact I view this informality as rude and displaying poor manners. This all goes for my culture here. Outside the country, it isn't a problem for me because the culture will be different, so I can't expect the same values to hold true there.

    Tutoyeren. We have a word for this familiar way of speaking to each other and there are rules. One of the parties gives the other permission for the use the informal tone if they do not mind.

    The Dutch society is very easy-going and tolerant...to a fault sometimes--but this one thing gets noticed.
     
  11. Netty

    Netty Chaotic Gardener Plants Contributor

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    I have never really put much thought into it ... my name is my name and so it should be used to address me. However, one thing I do not like is the lack of respect kids seem to show their 'elders' these days. I also find it rude and displaying poor manners. I expect children to call me Mrs *surname*, just as I have always been taught to address people older than myself.
     
  12. Theresa1984

    Theresa1984 New Seed

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    It doesn't bother me. I would rather be called by my first name. I like my name; I think it's pretty. :)
     
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  13. Jewell

    Jewell Incorrigible Gardener Plants Contributor

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    Culturally people all use first names here. Belong to several social groups and first names are the norm. Even my dentist goes by Dr. Matt (first name). I personally prefer being called by my first name.

    I work in an elementary school and that is the only place where the use of surnames still exists and maybe a few professional businesses within their walls. When we got a new superintendent everyone thought him very pompous for demanding that everyone use his surname and doctorate title when addressing him.

    Guess it depends on those nonspoken regional rules of etiquette.
     
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  14. toni

    toni Mistress of Garden Junque Staff Member Moderator Plants Contributor

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    My parents liked my name that's why they chose it for me before I was born, I have always been Toni and always will be no matter what my last name is (and that's changed 2 times).
     
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  15. cuatro-gatos

    cuatro-gatos In Flower

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    We taught our son to call his elders that are not relatives or very close family friends by 'Miss or Mr. (first name); unless the more formal last
    name was requested. We felt this always showed a sign of respect. I encourage my son's friends to use this when addressing me and when
    they simply use my first name I feel a twinge.
    If someone I do not know very well addresses me with my first name - I consider myself lucky they even know it!
     
  16. waretrop

    waretrop Strong Ash Plants Contributor

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    I find people in business are taught to use names to be personalized. The bank teller is one. Just making sure you respond correctly and making sure you feel well known there or like family so you will have more devotion to them. Really feeling tied to them like kin...

    I don't care what people call me as long as they remember me for what I want them to.....I have many silly names that either I or others have given me:

    Cockatiel Barb
    Greenhouse Barb
    Barb in Pa
    Egg Barb
    Barb Youknowwho

    As long as people remember me...LOL
     
    Last edited: Feb 21, 2016
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