They Walk Amongst Us

Discussion in 'Jokes and Games' started by Islandlife, Mar 12, 2017.

  1. Islandlife

    Islandlife Young Pine

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    One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted.... "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and said..."Where?"

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    While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was north because he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?'
    My brother explained that the sun rises in the east and has for some time. She shook her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff......'
    They Walk Among Us!
    ==============
    My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, When we overheard an admin girl talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but said she "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving."
    They Walk Among Us!
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    My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car which is designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car trunk.
    They Walk Among Us!
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    I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss. The woman there smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and said I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, 'has your plane arrived yet?'...(I work with professionals like this.)
    They Walk Among Us!
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    While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time then said "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces."
    They Walk Among Us!
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    Traffic Camera

    A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding. Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result. He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's pace.
    Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for Driving without a seat belt!!!
    *You can't fix stupid.




     
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  3. eileen

    eileen Resident Taxonomist Staff Member Moderator Plants Contributor

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    :smt005Wouldn't it be great if there was a cure for stupidness?:setf_015:
     

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