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marlingardener's Blog

Farm living and laughing

Why are sports so boring?

Category: Farm Doings | Posted: Tue Sep 22, 2020 3:43 pm

Almost any sport--watch the last few minutes and you've seen the game.
Basketball--very tall skinny people running up and down a shiny floor and bouncing a big orange ball. Then they try to get the ball through a hoop approximately the size of the ball. Well, gee, they have been doing this since they were six so you'd think they would be better at it. Yawnnnnn.
Baseball--if you have an advanced degree in mathematics, you can understand all the numbers and statistics the announcers are throwing out. The game is less about the players' abilities and more about "baseball language." I think it's a secret code decipherable only to a few diehard fans. Yawnnnn.
Thanks to my husband I am acquainted with Formula One racing. This sport has the advantage of being held in very interesting places with pretty scenery. Who knew Italy had so many evergreen trees? Dubai, no. The pit stops are slightly interesting--those guys can move fast! However, watching funny looking cars go around a track laid out to be intentionally difficult is only interesting for about two laps. Then there are the 55 laps to come. Yawnnnn.
Nascar? Oh, please. The only interesting thing about watching these cars go around an oval track is the paint jobs on the cars. If they could jam in one more sponsor logo they would, but they now have logos all over the drivers' suits and helmets. Yawnnnn.
And football--a bunch of steroid sucking neanderthals lumbering up and down a field and occasionally scoring points. The fans with their headdresses (cheese heads) and painted bodies (ugh)are mildly interesting, but one has to sit through four quarters for momentary flashes of interest. Why do they say "four quarters" when "quarter" pretty well says it all? Yawnnn.
Tennis is inherently boring--thock, thock, thock--someone scored a point! I played tennis, and it was boring! Yawnnnnnn.
Rodeo originated in skills needed on the ranch (with the exception of barrel racing). Bull riding is another exception, but I do admit to being a fan. I loved watching the boys from Brazil dominate after the Australians all retired and moved to Stephenville Texas and bought ranches. I still remember an interview with an Aussie and the interviewer didn't understand a word he said.
So, although sports are boring, it seems there is a large audience for sports. That's fine, but please do not expect me to watch them or discuss them ad infinitum!

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