A golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him. "I have some good news and some bad news," says the surgeon. "The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!" "Oh God no!" cries the man. "My golfing is over! Please Doc, what's the good news?" "The good news is, I have another one to replace it with, but it's a woman's arm. I'll need your permission before I go ahead with the transplant." "Go for it doc" says the man. "As long as I can play golf again." The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course when he bumped into the surgeon. "Hi, how's the new arm?" asks the surgeon. "Just great," says the businessman. "I'm playing the best golf of my life. My new arm has a much finer touch and my putting has really improved." "That's great," said the surgeon. "Not only that," continued the golfer, "my handwriting has improved, I've learned how to sew my own clothes and I've even taken up painting landscapes in water colours." "Unbelievable!" said the surgeon, "I'm so glad to hear the transplant was such a great success. Are you having any side effects?" "Well, just one problem," said the golfer. "Every time I get an erection, I also get a headache.
A man of 85 goes to his doctor and asks for a full check-up. The doctor asks him why? The old man says "Well I'm marrying a woman of 22 & want to make sure I'm physically fit for everything expected of me in married life." After the check-up the doctor says to the man, "She's only 22? That's a big age difference & you probably won't have much in common. Can I suggest you take in a young lodger to keep her company for when you're out & about or a bit tired. It'll keep her happy & I reckon keep your relationship going." The old man said he'd think about it. Six months later the doctor bumps into the old man in the street and he tells him he's taken the doctor's advice and taken in a young lodger. The doctor then asks him how the marriage is working out?". "Tremendous!" said the old man "and even better my wife is 6 months pregnant." "And how's the young lodger?" said the doctor. The old man replied, "Oh, she's pregnant as well."
