These are just sooooo funny!!!!

Discussion in 'Jokes and Games' started by eileen, Apr 28, 2008.

  1. eileen

    eileen Resident Taxonomist Staff Member Moderator Plants Contributor

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    Location:
    Scotland
    Silly instructions


    Toilet Bowl Fresh
    Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.

    Endust Duster
    This product is not defined as flammable by the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances.

    Baby Oil
    Keep out of reach of children

    Little Ones Baby Lotion
    Keep away from children

    Hair Coloring
    Do not use as an ice cream topping.

    Wet-Nap
    Directions: Tear open packet and use.

    Dial Soap
    Directions: Use like regular soap. Stridex Foaming Face Wash
    May contain foam.
    Hairdryer:
    Do not use while taking a shower.
    Old Spice Red Zone Deoderant
    Use only on underarms.Zantac 75
    Do not take if allergic to zantac.

    Sleeping Pills
    Warning: May cause Drowsiness
    Christmas Lights
    Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only.

    Bic Lighter
    Ignite lighter away from face.

    Komatsu Floodlight
    This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark
    Fire Extinguisher:
    Caution: Non-Flamable
    Earplugs
    These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe

    Mattress
    Warning: Do not attempt to swallow

    Matches
    Caution: Contents may catch fire.

    Pepper Spray
    Caution: Never aim spray at your own eyes.

    Auto-Shade Widnshield Visor
    Warning: Do not drive with sunshade in place. Remove from windshield before starting ignition.

    Fix-a-Flat
    WARNING: Do not weld can to rim.

    Rain Gauge
    Suitable for outdoor use.

    RCA Television Remote Control
    Not Dishwasher Safe

    Pine Mountain Fire Logs
    Caution: Risk of fire

    Triops Fish Food
    Warning: Not for human consumption

    Home Depot Treated Lumber
    Do not consume

    Hair Dryer
    Warning: Do not use while sleeping.

    Road Sign
    Caution water on road during rain.

    Camera
    This camera will only work when film is inside.

    Road Sign
    Cemetery Road. Dead End

    Church Parking Lot Sign
    Thou shalt not park

    Children's Superman Costume
    Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

    Silk Soy Milk
    Shake well and buy often

    Air Conditioner
    Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.

    Rowenta Iron
    Warning: Never iron clothes on the body.

    Slush Puppy Cup
    This ice may be cold

    American Airlines Peanuts
    Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
    Nabisco Easy Cheese
    For best results, remove cap.

    Swanson TV Dinners
    This product must be cooked before eating.

    Hershey's Almond Bar
    Warning: May contain traces of nuts

    Heinz Ketchup
    Instructions: Put on food
    500-piece puzzle:
    Some assembly required.
    Beach Ball
    CAUTION: It is not a life saving device.

    Chainsaw
    Do not attempt to stop chain with hands.

    Sears hairdryer:
    Do not use while sleeping.

    Bag of Fritos:
    You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

    Bar of Dial soap:
    Directions: Use like regular soap.

    Swann frozen dinners:
    Serving suggestion: Defrost.

    Hotel provided shower cap in a box:
    Fits one head.

    Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
    Do not turn upside down.

    Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
    Product will be hot after heating.

    Packaging for a Rowenta iron:
    Do not iron clothes on body.

    Boot's Children's cough medicine:
    Do not drive car or operate machinery.

    Nytol sleep aid:
    Warning: may cause drowsiness.

    String of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
    For indoor or outdoor use only.

    Japanese food processor:
    Not to be used for the other use.

    Sainsbury's peanuts:
    Warning: contains nuts.

    American Airlines packet of nuts:
    Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

    Korean kitchen knife:
    Warning keep out of children

    Helmet mounted mirror used by us cyclists:
    Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you

    New Zealand insect spray:
    This product not tested on animals.

    Blanket from taiwan:
    not to be used as protection from a tornado

    Cardboard windshield sun shade:
    Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place.

    Infant's bathtub:
    Do not throw baby out with bath water.

    Package of Fisherman's Friend throat lozenges:
    Not meant as substitute for human companionship.

    Disposable razor:
    Do not use this product during an earthquake.
     
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  3. Droopy

    Droopy Slug Slaughterer Plants Contributor

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    :smt005 The mattress and rain gauge are my favourite ones! :smt043
     
  4. Biita

    Biita Arctic-ally Challenged Forager

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    Ohh my goodness,,,,lol. Makes you think what people have done with those things to make them put warning lables like that!
     
  5. TheBip

    TheBip Young Pine

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    Location:
    Columbus, IN zone 6a
    I got a blanket once to give as a gift, and the tag said "Do not put in oven to dry" o_O Who in their right mind is going to put a clean blanket in an oven (which are usually filthy) to dry it??? You know they had to put those on there cause someone did that *rotflmao*
     
  6. glendann

    glendann Official Garden Angel

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Texas
    This really makes you wonder about who has tried these things out.The last one got me .Who would be shaving their legs during an earthquake.ROFL
     

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