A Little Long But Worth the Read

Discussion in 'Jokes and Games' started by cajunbelle, Mar 5, 2007.

  1. cajunbelle

    cajunbelle Daylily Diva

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2006
    Messages:
    3,266
    Likes Received:
    35
    Location:
    zone 8b Louisiana
    Garden Grass Snakes also known as Garter Snakes
    (Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes.
    Here's why.

    A couple in Sweetwater , Texas , had a lot of
    potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of
    them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.
    It turned out that a little green garden grass
    snake was hidden in one of the plants and when it had warmed up, it
    slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa.
    She let out a very loud scream.
    The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked to
    see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa.
    He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that
    time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the
    snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.
    His wife thought he had had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him
    to lie still and called an ambulance.
    The attendants rushed in, wouldn't listen to his protests and loaded him on
    the stretcher and started carrying him out.
    About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency
    Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the
    stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the
    hospital.
    The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a
    neighbor who volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a
    rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it
    was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief.
    But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she
    felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted , the snake
    rushed back under the sofa.

    The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to
    revive her.

    The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery
    store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband
    in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and
    cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.

    The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying
    on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that he had been
    bitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle of
    whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.

    By now the police had arrived.

    They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a
    drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the
    women tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake.
    The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing
    wife.

    Now, the little snake again crawled out from under the sofa and one of the
    policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the
    leg of the end table. The table fell over, the lamp on it shattered and,
    as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.

    The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the
    window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and
    raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and
    smashed into the parked police car.

    Meanwhile, the burning drapes, were seen by neighbors who called in the fire
    department. The firemen had started raising the fire ladder when they were
    halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and
    put out the power and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block
    are a (but they did get the house fire out).

    Time passed! Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was
    repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car and all was
    right with their world.

    A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap
    for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring
    in their plants for the night.

    And that's when he shot her.
     
  2. Loading...

    Similar Threads
    1. Sjoerd
      Replies:
      6
      Views:
      46,049
    2. Chillie6
      Replies:
      63
      Views:
      1,746,577

  3. eileen

    eileen Resident Taxonomist Staff Member Moderator Plants Contributor

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2005
    Messages:
    29,088
    Likes Received:
    6,286
    Location:
    Scotland
    :snicker: :snicker: :snicker: :smt005 :smt005 :smt005

    I could see it all happening in my mind and just couldn't help laughing.
     
  4. glendann

    glendann Official Garden Angel

    Joined:
    May 19, 2006
    Messages:
    9,512
    Likes Received:
    136
    Location:
    Texas
    I was rolling by the time I finished readind this.Like Eileen I could just see this as it happened.The best Cajunbelle and thanks for the laugh.
     
  5. Primsong

    Primsong Young Pine

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2006
    Messages:
    1,719
    Likes Received:
    12
    Location:
    Oregon
    Talk about a comedy of errors! :D
     

Share This Page