Airline Cabin Announcements I All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: 1. On a Southwest flight 245 (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!" 2. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants." 3. On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have. 4. "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane" 5. "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride." 6. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!" 7. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight a announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted." 8. From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa . To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised." 9. "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite." 10. "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines." 11. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."
Capt, I flew from Dallas to Boise Idaho and back again 5 years ago and I heard almost every one of those announcements on the Southwest Airlines flights I was on. They give you a giggle and make a long day somewhat more enjoyable. When we left Albuquerque on the way home, we were 'heavy' and when we made a quick stop in Amarillo to let off some passengers we heard the "whoa big fellow, WHOA" as we got to the end of the runway.
After takeoff on a United flight Phoenix to Chicago, Good morning, This is the Captain. Current weather in Phoenix is 72 and sunny. Current weather in Chicago is 15 and snowing. Are you sure you want to do this?
9. "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite." Sorry but I found this one hilarious!!!
Some great ones there You know what always perks up my attention when the safety procedure is being explained on a flight is when they mention that the case of an emergency to put your own mask on before attending to the masks of young children. Logically it sort of makes sense, meaning if you have yours on you are more equipped to help a youngster. But my heart tells me it should be the other way around. Just thought I would throw that one out there
On another United flight, as we came in for a landing we hit the runway and boubced twice before the captain got it glued to the runway. As we taxied in he came on, Ladies and gentleman, I am happy to announce that we have just successfully attacked Detroit.
When Ian's plane landed in Orkney the other week. It too, bounced on the runway before coming to a stop. He and the other passengers applauded and gave three cheers for the pilot, who came out of the cockpit and bowed!!! We British do have a strange sense of humour.
Good ones! It's amazing how much just a little touch of humor can lighten the mood and make people behave in a more friendly manner towards one another. I liked the broken clouds. :-D
