BEING BRITISH

Discussion in 'Jokes and Games' started by eileen, Sep 21, 2006.

  1. eileen

    eileen Resident Taxonomist Staff Member Moderator Plants Contributor

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    Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV..............And the most British thing of all?...........Suspicion of anything foreign


    Oh and...... Only in Britain...
    can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance
    Do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?
    Do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke?
    Do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
    Do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
    Do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place?
    There are disabled parking places in front of a skating rink?

    NOT TO MENTION...
    3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
    142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts
    58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
    31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
    19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate.
    British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.
    101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.
    18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
    A massive 543 Brits were admitted to Accident and Emergency in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
    5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of Control Scalextric cars.

    And finally.........
    In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet!!!!! :rolleyes:
     
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  3. pondlady

    pondlady Young Pine

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    Oh so true....and funny.
     
  4. Primsong

    Primsong Young Pine

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    I'm afraid Brits don't hold the exclusives to some of these - seen the same idiocy surface in the states too, heh. Fun list!
     
  5. reggaefan

    reggaefan Official Poet Laureate

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    They are right, It is a small world after all because I know some of those folks in fact some of them are family members. :D :D :D
     
  6. glendann

    glendann Official Garden Angel

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    Too funny and so true.Like others I know some of those people and may be one so forgetful .lol
     

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