Humor for Health

Discussion in 'The Village Square' started by Jewell, Mar 18, 2020.

  1. Jewell

    Jewell Incorrigible Gardener Plants Contributor

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    Since humor, laughter, feelings of joy, love, etc all build our immune system (actually change our body’s chemistry) why not enjoy a moment or two of those emotions :sete_056::headbang::smt026:smt041:sete_056:

    Anyone else seen any good ones?

    A6A4C67D-9A77-4C37-B560-B87E3B5CC655.jpeg
     
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  3. Sjoerd

    Sjoerd Mighty Oak

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    Chortle...good one, Jewell. More please. :D
    Very timely, this.
     
  4. adam.ca

    adam.ca In Flower

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    lol yup, hopefully it doesn't come to that
     
  5. Jewell

    Jewell Incorrigible Gardener Plants Contributor

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    I am sure it won’t but options are always available :p
     



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  6. marlingardener

    marlingardener Strong Ash

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  7. Jewell

    Jewell Incorrigible Gardener Plants Contributor

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    Jane those are so great I have to share! Do you have more?
     
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  8. marlingardener

    marlingardener Strong Ash

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  9. marlingardener

    marlingardener Strong Ash

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    And just one more and then I'll quit--
    [​IMG]

    St Bernard to the rescue!
     
    Last edited: Mar 20, 2020
  10. Tooty2shoes

    Tooty2shoes Hardy Maple

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  11. Don Perry

    Don Perry Seedling

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    I'm a poet.
    Flaco And Shorty
    By Don Perry

    Flaco and Shorty were desperadoes down by the big Rio.

    Some called them big pistoleroes, don’t you know.

    Flaco had his pistola, Shorty had a brand-new six-gun.

    They’d fight big battles ‘til the setting of the sun.


    Shorty hid out back, down by the bank, behind the big tree.

    He was waiting for Flaco, don’t you see?

    He drew his six-gun, had it cocked and ready

    For that big bad bandito on the run.


    Flaco came ‘round the bend and the action was quick.

    The smoke cleared slowly, for it was, oh, so thick.

    Both fell and lay still in the setting sun.

    Only to rise again and answer Mothers call, for dinner, on the run.
     
  12. marlingardener

    marlingardener Strong Ash

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  13. Jewell

    Jewell Incorrigible Gardener Plants Contributor

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    love your manicure. Nice job:like:
     
  14. eileen

    eileen Resident Taxonomist Staff Member Moderator Plants Contributor

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    Jane don't ever leave us. You can bring a smile to our faces even when the going is tough.
     
  15. Sjoerd

    Sjoerd Mighty Oak

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    I know the feeling...or should I say, "the appearance".
    The Bride roared with laughter when she saw this.
     
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  16. Dirtmechanic

    Dirtmechanic In Flower

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    A woman joins a country club and when she hears the guys talking about their golf round, she says, "I played on my college's golf team. I was pretty good. Mind if I join you next week?" No one wants to say 'yes', but they're on the spot…
    [​IMG]

    Long
    Finally, one man says, "Okay, but we start at 6:30 a.m."

    He figures the early tee-time will discourage her.

    The woman says this may be a problem and asks if she can be up to 15 minutes late.

    They roll their eyes, but say, "Okay."

    She's there at 6:30 am. sharp and beats all of them with an eye-opening 2-under par round.

    She's fun and pleasant and the guys are impressed.

    They congratulate her and invite her back the next week.

    She smiles, and says, "I'll be there at 6:30, or 6:45."

    The next week she again shows up at 6:30 sharp.

    Only this time, she plays left-handed.

    The three guys are incredulous as she still beats them with an even par round, despite playing with her off-hand.

    They're totally amazed.

    They can't figure her out.

    She's very pleasant and a gracious winner.

    They invite her back again, but each man harbors a burning desire to beat her.

    The third week, she's 15 minutes late, which irritates the guys.

    This week she plays right-handed and narrowly beats all three of them.

    The men grumble that her late arrival is petty gamesmanship on her part.

    However, she's so charming and complimentary of their strong play, they can't hold a grudge.

    This woman is a riddle no one can figure out.

    They have a couple of beers in the Clubhouse and finally, one of the men asks her, "How do you decide if you're going to golf right-handed or left-handed?"

    The lady blushes, and grins. "When my dad taught me to play golf, I learned that I was ambidextrous." she replies. "I like to switch back and forth."

    "When I got married after college, I discovered my husband always sleeps in the nude. From then on, I developed a silly habit. Right before I leave in the morning for golf practice, I pull the covers off him. If his willie points to the right, I golf right-handed; if it points to the left, I golf left-handed."

    The guys think this is hysterical.

    Astonished at this bizarre information, one of the guys says, "What if it's pointing straight up?"

    She says, "Then, I'm fifteen minutes late."
     
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