My Mother Taught Me

My mother taught me
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> 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
> "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
>cleaning."
>
> 2. My mother taught me RELIGION .
> "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
>
> 3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
> "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
>next week!"
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> 4. My mother taught me LOGIC
> " Because I said so, that's why."
>
> 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
> "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to
>the store with me."
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> 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT .
> "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
>
> 7. My mother taught me IRONY .
> "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
>
> 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
> "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
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> 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM
> "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
>
> 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA .
> "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
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> 11 My mother taught me about WEATHER.
> "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
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>12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
> "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
>
> 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE
> "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
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> 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION .
> "Stop acting like your father!"
>
>15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
> "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
>have wonderful parents like you do."
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> 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION
> "Just wait until we get home."
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> 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING
> "You are going to get it when you get home!"
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> 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE .
> "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that
>way."
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> 19. My mother taught me ESP .
> "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
>
> 20. My mother taught me HUMOR .
> "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me"
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> 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
> "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
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> 22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
> "You're just like your father."
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> 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
> "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
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> 24. My mother taught me about WISDOM.
> "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
>
> And my favorite:
> 25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE
> "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you
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I believe I heard many of those from my mother when I was growing up.

 

I heard some of those from my mother too...and I use a few of them on my own kids!

 

Yep I have heard a few and said a few to my own

 

Classic mom-isms! I think you are required to say most of them to prove you are a real mom. :-D

 

What makes them so funny is that we have all heard them or said them! One that I always heard as a kid was " If you fall out of that tree and break you leg, don't come running to me! "

 

I was told them and have them and Capt.
I have been told that one too.When I was coming up I was the biggest Tom Boy ever.