Wisdom from Larry the cable guy....

Discussion in 'Jokes and Games' started by toni, Apr 7, 2007.

  1. toni

    toni Mistress of Garden Junque Staff Member Moderator Plants Contributor

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    The wisdom of Larry the cable guy...

    1. A day without sunshine is like... night.
    2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
    3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
    4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
    5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
    6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
    7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
    8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in
    the trap.
    9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
    10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
    11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
    12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
    13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
    14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
    15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
    16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
    17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
    18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
    19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
    20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
    21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the heck
    happened?"
    22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
    23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright
    until you hear them speak.
    24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates . it's more like a jar of jalapenos.
    What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow
     
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  3. glendann

    glendann Official Garden Angel

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    ROFL -So funny and really some of it makes sense :)
     
  4. eileen

    eileen Resident Taxonomist Staff Member Moderator Plants Contributor

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  5. Netty

    Netty Chaotic Gardener Plants Contributor

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    Good ones Toni!
     



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  6. reggaefan

    reggaefan Official Poet Laureate

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    Sad but true
     
  7. Capt Kirk

    Capt Kirk Thank a Veteran today!

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    Get er done!
     
  8. Shanna

    Shanna In Flower

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    :smt023 tooo funny
     

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