You know old age is creeping up when ....

You run out of breath walking down the stairs.
Your knees buckle but your belt won't.
The waiter asks you how you'd like your steak and you say ' pureed '.
You can get your rocking chair started.
' Getting lucky ' means finding your car in Tesco's car park.
The Rolling Stones still look young to you.
You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
The names in your little black book all belong to doctors.
You need two attempts to drive over a speed bump.
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes when you are barefoot.
You'd like to be nostalgic but you can't remember anything.
Your easy chair has more controls than your car.
You look both ways before crossing a room.
You need you false teeth and hearing aid in before you can ask where you left your glasses.
Your actions creak louder than your words.
You and your teeth no longer sleep together.
Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.



I'm not admitting to any of them .... darn I've lost the controller for my recliner and can't find it without my glasses. Where did you say it was .... come on speak up!!!

 

Just because I can't stand up without moaning "oh, oh, ouch" doesn't mean any of these apply to me.