To Human Resources Department at Chance Security Systems, We applying for the posts of 'Hired Muscle' advertised May edition of Arizona Recruitment Magazine. We are three dogs Bert, Bailey and Duke. We very strong and will rough up intruders. Here is nice pic: We best in Arizona, you not finding much better than we. Don't let pic fool you, we some bad woof woofs! If you very impressed then contact our owner Jubabes to arrange contract and salary Big Doggy Licks, // Bert, Bailey and Duke P.S Sorry for poor English. Bailey is the only one of us who knows English and Duke (me) is the only one who can write. There is miscommunication. Julie where is our dinner? Oh apologies Bailey was I not supposed to write that. Where is DELETE key? Bailey... what are you doing with that stick! Me sorry!! Bailey, BAILEY NO... NOOOOOOOOO!
Do you sleep in the house? Are you house trained? Do you do laundry? Do cats like you? Position requires travel, what % of time can you be away from home? Do you speak any other languages other than woof? What pay range are you seeking? Your application is being considered. Please respond promptly.
Frank thanks much for posting the job application for us!! It greatly appreciated!! Mom is always saying we need to pay for our keep! We show her by getting a job with Chance Security Systems in Arizona!! Just wait!! Who gonna watch over her garden and chase out them squirrels!! Scratch (haha,she said scratch!!) that last comment, she probably be reading this!! Hugs and Licks, The doggy posse, Woof, Woooooffff Duke, Bailey and Bert PS: Duke hope there a job in our area! He dont want to leave Mom!!!
Orchid Lady Re your questions: *Yep we sleep in mom's house *Yep we are house trained *We like to grab rags and shake our heads around, does that count? *Yep we all love cats,live with 4 of them, when I (Duke) chases them I only trying to play catch!!! *We like to travel in the back of Dad's pick up truck!! Bert and Bailey try act big, but I think they whine if we leave Mom!! *Bailey speaks English!! We all understand "SIC EM" and "GET OUT OF THERE OUT" and "QUIT DIGGING" *Plenty of bones, hugs, scratches behind the ear, and lots of table scraps!! Sorry it took a while to respond Bert finally snook a look while mom entered her password (he know more about those things than Bailey or me) And we had to wait until she left the room so I could make a quick post!! Hope we were able to answer all your questions The Woof Posse (Bert named us that!!) Bert Bailey and Duke
Well, I'm truly impressed with your qualifications. Can you start right away? As far as I'm concerned, you're hired!
Orchid Lady We are willing to start now,but we must check in with Chance Security Systems first!! We talk after that! The Woof Posse Bert Bailey and Duke
DR says he talked to Chance and she is working out the details. The first thing she had to do was a background check. That shouldn't take long. She is also checking out the details for licensing in Texas. Her thought is to have a branch office there with Julie in charge. Will get back to you soon. Dooley
Dooley, Not worried about the background check, my intuition tells me you guys are ok and probably haven't committed any felonies. As long as you don't harm the children, which I seriously doubt that you're capable, we're all ok. Texas is a long way from Colorado, are you planning on opening an offic here as well. My boyfriend has 163 acres for you to run and my min pin and toy poodle and his aussie shepard could use someone to keep them in line. Looking forward to hearing from you guys soon. licks & tail wags.
Dooley, Our background should checkout if you don't ask the mail man about us!! OOPS! Maybe I shouldn't mention that!! A branch office here with Julie in charge would be sooo awesome!!We really don't want to be away from Mom!! She really is good to us!! She just told us a while ago what good dogs we are!! You know how anxious us Lab dogs can be so we be waiting to hear something!! Gotta go them darn squirrels are back!! Bailey and Bert get up Nowwww!!! Hugs and Licks, The Doggy Posse Bert,Bailey and Duke
To: Bert, Bailey and Duke Congratulations!! As you might know, Arizona has an instant background check. You all passed with no problems. We don't check with postmen. In fact we have no postmen here in Mayer. All mail is picked up at the post office. Now you will be able to handle DGS((Domentic Garden Security)in the state of Texas. Our information is that your license has already been obtained by Julie. Any problems can be referred to DR and Dooley at the home office in Arizona. Time to be sworn in. Raise your right front paw and repeat after me. "I - state your name - promise to uphold the rules of Chance Security System, the needs of our client and will keep the yard free of ground squirrels. mice, deer, javalinas, armadillos and various other vermin. I further promise not to eat or trample any of the garden or flower plot products. I do so afirm." Congratulations again and welcome to Chance Security Systems. You are now fully qualified DGS officers. Keep em honest Julie. Chance
Chance, Oh thank goodness you don't check with postmen, because we really had him a running!! Hehehe! Oh Bert told me it be best that I shut my snout!! We are all so proud to now be employed with Chance Security Systems!! WOOF WOOOOFFF! Ahem! Just practicing for the vermin tonight!!Well now that we are DGS officers we best be going to have a nap so we can keep guard tonight!! By the way what about Orchid Lady's security in Colorado? Julie said she would do her best Chance!! Hugs and Licks The Woof Posse Bert, Bailey and Duke
Chance Security Systems is not set up to operate in Colorado. But, we were not set up to operate in Texas either. If you know of any dogs in Colorado or some dogs who would like to move to Colorado please let me know. Chance
