A quiet, but heartfelt rant

An acquaintance called to ask me if I had dill. I told her I wasn't sure if any was left, but would go check and call her back, which I did with a "yes, we have dill" answer. She asked if she could pick it up that afternoon. Again, yes. I went out, picked the dill, put it in a bucket of water on the back porch, and there is sat for two days, until I contributed it to the compost pile.
She called NINE DAYS LATER to say she came down with a cold and that was why she didn't pick up the dill or even call for NINE DAYS (can you tell I was a bit testy?).

She did something similar before with last year's honey. She was going to pick it up, I held the six jars she wanted, and she didn't show. Then one afternoon she dropped in unannounced to get the honey. She'd been "so busy" and of course I hadn't been busy--just sitting around waiting for her to show.
I can hardly wait until she calls wanting honey this year.

 

I agree, the answer in the future should be no. If you decide to say yes, wait until she arrives then make her wait while you get it (or have her help).

 

I won't allow anyone, other than family, in my garden to pick or even weed. If I have extras I ask friends if they want any and then I pick what I want them to have and give it to them. Any extra's I normally take to the senior center and they use them to add to the meals. Our small center operates on a very small budget so any thing extra helps them.

 

Pianolady, I will say "no" as politely as I can. Your good advice will help me stiffen my spine and be firm!
2ofus, I don't like anyone else in my gardens either. So many of our herbs are hosts for butterflies, and I don't want a generation wiped out by a careless or clueless picker. Cherry tomatoes are a BIG hit at the food pantry--the elderly don't have to do anything but rinse them off, and they taste like tomatoes! How kind of you to share with the senior center.

 

I would have been fuming! 9 days is too long, especially because she called YOU and asked for it.

 

That would be a big NO for me. Watch out for the remarks that get back to you or the dirty look you get when you tell her no. She will make you out to be the bad guy.

 

So many people make others wait around and never show up...these people are not dependable and my answer would be no when they do decide to call. Or you could say...I did see some at the grocery store and I don't think the price was too high...you should get there right away before it is gone...

 

Yep, Jane, Some people think the world revolves around them. I tell those who rub me the wrong way "I don't really grow much of that" or " I am at the end of the season for it" but I won't make a commitment to supplying ANY at all for said person. I tell them to check up at_______ to see if they have any. or if they stop by then I will give in and "OH, let me go see if I have any". I make them pay for it though. mercenary of me, but I want to remodel my kitchen and if they cant grow it or are too lazy to put in a garden they would have to buy it somewhere else.

 

I actually have a similar problem. When it comes to people who ask to borrow something of mine, like power tools for example, take a heavy duty impact drill machine for the argument - Whenever they have to do some kind of work in their house, they instantly think of me, (as they know that I always have such tools). But when it comes to returning it after they are done using it, everyone (and I really do mean everyone) starts to suffer from clinical amnesia!!! So now it falls upon me, to remind them that they still are holding onto something which actually belongs to me... But when I get it back, it is ALWAYS scratched badly, never properly oiled in the right places after use, nor sprayed with WD40 (to protect it from moisture). And I actually am seen as the bad guy, for politely asking for something (after waiting for months), which actually belonged to me in the first place!!!

Of course, if I refuse to give it to them in the first place, then I again become the bad guy - So I figure that I have to become the bad guy one way or the other, then best that I become so in the start, by not lending anything out to anyone! Furthermore, if there is an argument or a fight over it (regarding the condition in which I got it back) - Very rare to fight or argue at such a thing, but if it happens, then they always say: "Come on, it's only a tool"... Well, if it's only a "tool", then kindly go to the market and buy one for yourself - Why don't you?!?

Many people (specially those who don't know how to correctly use tools) assume that it's a normal occurrence for tools to get periodically replaced. They seem to think, no, not think, rather believe - That tools must get consumed as they are applied. So they abuse it without a second though (as if it's the normal thing to do)! What the idiots don't realize is that if a tool, any tool, is maintained and property used, it continues to function without any problem for a lifetime, (if not longer)... But since they didn't pay for it themselves (rather borrowed it from me for free), they feel that it's now their God given right to abuse it! And they seem to do it in such a way, that it doesn't even remain worth repairing afterwards...

Oh, for got to mention - Once something was returned to me, in an altered state (altered without my knowledge or permission of course), and it was done so in such a way that I couldn't even set it back the way it use to be, (as it was welded over, stuck in one position, hence ruining it's multi-function)... So when I complained, he said: Oh it's better now, as it doesn't rattle anymore - Of course, the idiot only had to tighten one nut, and the rattling would have stopped, but noooooooooooo...

 

I have folks like that here as well. Aside from the irritation that I feel, I also feel a bit disappointed in them as acquaintances.