Grief stricken but moving on...

Category: My animals | Posted: Fri Jul 27, 2007 9:08 pm

First things first...Thank you friends for being supportive and the kind words. At first I could not even talk about it and felt sooo traumatized and this was the place I chose to share my feelings. I am really grateful for the acceptance and kindness found on this site.

I am going to tell what happened, mainly so pet owners can be aware because I centainly never expected something like this to happen. It has happened before, to someone I'm sure, but I had never heard about it.

Thankfully, for my own sanity, Felony had a good last day. I had gone out after a nice rain and played ball with her. When I fed her, I gave her a treat of a tiny bit of can dog food mixed with her kibble. She loved on me and I loved on her. We had company( two of my sons and daughter-in laws) After playing ball she was a bit muddy so I did not bring her in till they left. I took her bedtime dog treat to the door and called her(it was dark). When she didn't come I went out to see what was going on. She was not in her dog house so I scanned the yard and saw her lying with a coffee can, of all things, on her head. I ran to her and she was already gone. I don't (hope, hope) think she suffered for very long, as she was right where the can had been when I came in. No sign of struggle around her. I totally lost it of course and my hubby went running out. After initial finding, I could not go out again. He said the can was on very tightly and it completely sealed the air off. What makes me sick is I had used the can to feed my Chihuahuas (I reaise a few for a little extra income) and had 2 peices of dog food in it still. I never, in a million years, saw this coming.

There is virtually nothing in my yard, where she was allowed, that I thought could even possibly be harmful. She had her toys, a couple of flat basket balls and that was about it. I know it was a freak accident, but I felt so responsible for her safety that I can't help not feeling bad that I left the can in there.

The can was one of the newer metal cans with the lip on the inside that you peal the foil covering off of. I think it would have had a totally different outcome if that lip had not been there. For one, there wouldn't have been anything left in the can and two, it would have slipped off easier.

Well, I can't undo this tragic accident and I must move on and not let it rob me of my sanity. I will post warnings and tell other pet owners so it won't happen to them.

We buried her on our property. I will never forget her and only have good memories while she was with us. Plus, I have a lovely birdbath that she helped me with that has her signature right on the front of it!

I know she was a dog and not a human but losing her hurt as much( and I have lost a lot of loved ones throughout my life). I have learned from this. What may not be tragic to one person, can completely devestate another. The condition that person is in when faced with trauma of any kind also has a lot to do with their reaction and the way it affects them. This showed me just what a fragile state I am in. I will get stronger and healthier(mentally). It would be a double tragedy if the death of something or someone were allowed to destroy a living person. We all have someone (or lots of someones) who love us and depend on us to be in their life. I will work through the stages of grief but I won't put my life on hold to do it. Having said that, I will be introducing you all to my new puppy soon. He didn't take Felony's place but he surely filled a void.

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CritterPainter wrote on Fri Jul 27, 2007 11:02 pm:

Oh sweetie, no wonder you have been in shock! Certainly no way you could have foreseen this. I sincerely hope your new puppy helps your heart heal.

Desert Rat wrote on Sat Jul 28, 2007 12:19 am:

There is no such thing as just a dog, not a human. Problem is, dogs are children all their lives. It is very hard to watch every minute. I am so sorry about your loss. I know I worry about Chance so much. She is so tough and self-assured but accidents happen.
dr

cajunbelle wrote on Sat Jul 28, 2007 12:55 am:

I agree with DR, there is no such thing as just a dog, they are as much a part of our lives as our children are. Give yourself some time to heal, and know that Felony would not want you to put your life on hold. God bless you, you are in my prayers.

Frank wrote on Sat Jul 28, 2007 1:16 am:

Don't blame yourself whatsoever for what happened DF. It was a very freak accident indeed. Loosing a pet is always a sad event but I think if Felony could convey it in words she would wish for you to carry on with things and show the new puppy all the love you showed her.

desertflower wrote on Sat Jul 28, 2007 2:32 am:

Thanks everyone. I do miss her so much and all the things she did to give back to us. I try not to think about it but have you noticed when you try not to think about something, you already are by trying not to? Any way I have moments of sadness but have to laugh through my tears at this puppy. He is so different from her and I like that. I wont try to re-create her. She never shredded anything and tried to so hard to please. Puppy(will officially name him soon) shreds everything he gets a hold of especially papers. He is 2 1/2 mo old tho and she was 6 weeks when we got her. He is very smart tho and is learning commands quickly. Also very good at going outside when he needs to. He will be a good dog and hopefully I will be a good pack leader for him. I just hate haing to deal with this pain I wish I could make it go away. You guys do help a lot and I hope you don't mind my "cyber-leaning" right now.

glendann wrote on Sat Jul 28, 2007 3:25 am:

Desert Flower I think I know how you feel ,I would be so alone if I lost Oreo as he is all I have here to talk to sre play with.I am always afraid somrthing will happen to him.
Do not try to blame yourself as it was something I would have never thought of happening.I will be out tomorrow looking my yard over.Its sad for Felony to give his life maybe to save others on heres little buddies.The new puppy will help heal your heart some and help the pain lesson as time goes on.I am just so sorry it happened.

heathermt75 wrote on Sat Jul 28, 2007 8:21 am:

Desert Flower, I'm so very sorry to hear about Felony. I have lost two dogs, Tucker and Zack. Tucker was like my child. He was a Yorkie and was ALWAYS with me, in my lap or sleeping at my feet.It isn't your fault at all and it can't be changed. But hopefully out of this tragedy, people will become more aware of their pets' surroundings. Can't wait to meet the new puppy and I'm sure it will take time to heal your heart. My heart goes out to you.

bethie wrote on Sat Jul 28, 2007 3:39 pm:

Well, I'm just heartbroken to read this. Pet love is like any other kind of love, an untimely end is just so shocking. You just couldn't forsee this and Musn't blame yourself. I'm glad you will have a new puppy to love. This one will be unique unto itself but will bring you dog JOY again. So very sorry.