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The Great Weed Empire and the World's Ugliest Spider
I'll try this again since it didn't post last time, but some of the original fervor will undoubtedly be lost forever to the land of unposted blogs and socks without a mate.
There are reasons why you haven't seen pictures of my garden. Mainly, it's because my garden is located in my yard. My yard is something you don't want to see, unless you have a strange hankerin' for photographs of weeds. Seriously, lots of weeds.
The thing is, my landlord Steve (who happens to be my half-sister's-uncle-by-marriage, and McPhersons consider that kin!) doesn't really feel the need to give us any special breaks. And by "breaks" I mean the things he gives to all the other tenants free-off-charge. Things like faucets in their back yards, working garbage disposals/refrigerators, grass, etc.
This lack of grass has lead to a maddening frenzy of invasive and unsightly plants. Maintenance (Steve and Gary) are supposed to care for all lawns according to the rental agreement. I think Gary comes by once every other month to mow said weeds, and I still can't figure out why.
Not having a hose is the only reason why I haven't planted my own blasted grass. It's one thing to walk back-an-forth to the kitchen sink 5 times just to water the veggies, but it would get down right tedious trying to wet the entire yard with a gallon water pitcher.
There you have it, my melodramatic excuse for lack of pictures.
On another note I was yanking-up some of the insanity by the porch and this squishy, yellow body scurried out on bright red legs with giant eyes and what looked like pinchers. I thought it was some horrid larvae of a probably plant-terrorizing beetle. I screeched for Rob to put this creature to death. As a kid I would have fearlessly captured it for proper classification and subsequent release, but the dreams of a career in entomology died after 2 spider bites that resulted in trips to the hospital. Rob promptly unveiled this demon from his weedy hide-out and, upon further inspection, found that it was a spider, not a beetle. I advocated it's execution anyways, because I hate red-legged, crab-looking surprises. Rob made a big fuss, as I generally don't condone spider-carnage and force him to put them outside rather than kill. He ended it finally, intentionally making a huge production by using a bark chip as a bad guillotine, instead of his quick and diligent shoe. I felt guilty for a moment, until I shuddered at the mental image of that horrid creature crawling up my garden glove.
Last edited: Wed Aug 08, 2007 12:19 pm
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Lexxi I soooo enjoyed reading your blog entry.
I googled to no avail. It ended up looking like a cross between a sowbug killer, some kind of crab spider and a few other things. Besides, my imagination has probably exaggerated his horrific features so much that Rob should be the one identifying. :) None of the other spiders were ugly enough! lol
Hehe poor spider! Very eloquently put :D
Good grief, I've never seen anything like that around here!!! I've always loved that there aren't any poisonous crawlies around here, might have to double check!
Loved reading your blog.You write so well and I could see that spider in my mind and your face.Laughed out loud.Just to funny.
I'm with these guys, love your writing. You make everything so vivid that it almost seems like you have posted pictures. Keep up the posting. No matter what the subject, it is going to be good reading!
Y'all are a bunch of gems! I'm flattered.
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