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That Really Unique Love Story - T.R.U.L.S.
What can I say about a horse that is gone?
That he loved apples, carrots and his mash. And me, at least if I had treats in my pocket.
I wasn't looking to buy a horse, but Truls was looking for a forever-home. He wormed his way into my heart and became my horse for almost 17 years. At 1.30 on the night of New Year's Day I helped the vet put down my best friend while people were still shooting fireworks around us. It was surreal, and the feeling of loss is big, black and painful.
We who lose our furry friends often hear "But it wasn't a person!". No, Truls wasn't a person. But it wasn't a person who:
- gave me strength to get out of bed and meet the day when I felt so low I just wanted to pull the duvet over my head and stay there.
- gave me the courage to walk out the door when the threshold felt two meters tall and my body shook with panic attacks.
- helped me get fresh air and exercise like the doc said I needed.
- read my mood at a glance, didn't care and was happy to see me no matter what.
- let me cry in his mane as hard and as long as I needed.
- gave me a feeling of light, happiness and joy that motivated me to climb out of the big, black hole my psyche had dug for me.
- gave me courage to order a dentist appointment for the first time in years and finally gave me self-confidence enough to go on my own without having to be drugged semi-unconscious so my husband had to half carry me through the door.
- carried me on his back when my body and mind would't co-operate.
- listened to everything I had to say without judging and was just warm, soft and receptive.
- broke my little finger and my little toe and it just didn't matter because shit happens around horses.
- gave me breathing space between all the things I had to do but didn't know if I could go through with.
- made me laugh and sing for no reason at all.
No, Truls wasn't a person. I needed him in between, around and in addition to the people in my life. I didn't love him only because of who he was but also because of who I became because of him.
I spend all New Year's Eve with him, hoping that the vet's treatment would help. At around six o'clock in the evening we were walking back and forth by the stables, waiting yet again for the vet. Truls turned his head and seemed to watch something approaching in the field next to us. As I turned to look I saw our sweet little Gabriella trotting up alongside us with her flying steps. As she passed us she tossed her head like horses do when they say "Come on, let's run!" Then she disappeared, and I knew then that she had come to take Truls with her and show him the way to his old friends.
I wasn't ready yet. I knew the day would come when I had to say goodbye to Truls, but I didn't want it to be so soon. 17 years but it felt like only a few months and at the same time a lifetime. He was 22, should have been 23 this year.
When I bought Truls one of the young girls at the stables told me I had to change his name because it wasn't cool enough. I had a quick mind once, so I answered that his real name was That Really Unique Love Story but I just used the first letters - T.R.U.L.S.
It wasn't true. But then, after all, it was.
Truls 1998-2021 ( photo / image / picture from Droopy's Garden )
Last edited: Thu Oct 21, 2021 2:25 pm
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Itâ€™s so heart breaking when we have the better judgement to stop the suffering.
My sincere thoughts and feelings are with all those who have had to say that sad, 'Goodbye'
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