A Joke or Two

Discussion in 'Jokes and Games' started by Logan, Jan 13, 2024.

  1. Logan

    Logan Strong Ash

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    That's great Sjoerd.
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  2. Pacnorwest

    Pacnorwest Hardy Maple

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    IMG_5808.jpeg Picture of the year.
     
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2024
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  3. Logan

    Logan Strong Ash

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    They say that dogs look like their owners.
     
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  4. Logan

    Logan Strong Ash

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    I can not shop at Costco anymore :)))))Yesterday I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Necco, the Wonder Dog, which weighs 191 lbs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.What did she think I had an elephant?So because I'm retired and have little to do,on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to Pee on a Fire Hydrant and a car hit me,
    I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
    Costco won't let me shop there anymore.Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say.Forward this (especially) to all your retired friends...it will be their laugh for the day
     



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  5. Sjoerd

    Sjoerd Mighty Oak

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    My sides are splitting, Loggie. Good one.
     
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  6. marlingardener

    marlingardener Happy

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    Ah Logan, I love this, and it will be forwarded to all my retired acquaintances! I had a 16 lb. bag of cat food and the checker asked me if I had a cat. Told her no, I was just getting this in case one showed up.
    Your reply is sooooooo much better!
     
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  7. Sjoerd

    Sjoerd Mighty Oak

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    Marlin— not a shabby one. Haha. I love this. Sometimes can say the silliest things.
    When my Bride and I were in Pokara, Nepal…we rented a boot and went out on the lake. We were backpacking, so we had a hook and line with us and thought we’d try our luck for something different to eat.

    So then, after paddling around for a while and taking some pics, relaxing we pulled out the line. I cannot remember what we used for bait. We had no pole, so we just let the line hang down with a bobber on it (wishful thinking).

    There were many boats on the lake and after a while they came paddling out to us, would look at me holding the line and would ask what I was doing. After the first ten or so, the Bride began coming up with exotic, impossible answers.
     
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  8. Logan

    Logan Strong Ash

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    Thanks Sjoerd and Marlingardener, yes it's a good one.
     
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  9. Logan

    Logan Strong Ash

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  10. Sjoerd

    Sjoerd Mighty Oak

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    Cackle.
     
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  11. Logan

    Logan Strong Ash

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  12. Sjoerd

    Sjoerd Mighty Oak

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    Like the boss said when too little profit was made— “Heads ar gonna roll”.
     
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  13. Logan

    Logan Strong Ash

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  14. Sjoerd

    Sjoerd Mighty Oak

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    Ha ha ha….good one, Loggie.
     
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  15. Pacnorwest

    Pacnorwest Hardy Maple

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