**A Sentimental Note: Dementia & A Gardener Caregiver**

I have to say, even though my mom has Dementia and cannot remember most things from one second to the other or we literally are involved in a scavenger hunt everyday because she moves things and forgets when she places them (lol), when we step out that door to the yard/garden, it's as if she becomes a different person. You see, bringing her here has been an adjustment, but not because it has been difficult, the adjustment has been recognizing what joy she actually brings to our household. She is still somewhat independent, always getting up, coming downstairs and first thing, throwing open the curtains and blinds for the views outdoors..that sense of peace for both of us. Before she comes down for breakfast though, you can bet that her blinds have been opened since the sun came up. That's where I got it from. She loves helping me and i love her help/company in the yarden!!! As i explain the plants to her and what I am doing to help that plant, she is telling me the whole time that she did miss her mother, but now, when she looks at me outside in the garden, she doesn't miss her so much because she sees Hattie (her Mom) in me. As we walk the entire yard, she says 'Lord, Momma is looking down now and smiling like I am. I 'clare you are just like her Val, even when you cook, you cook things that she used to.' I say, 'Yes Ma'am I am and think of her while i'm out here, because of her is why i love it out here.' My grandma was also stricken with Dementia and it came to a point where she knew no one, but she knew where her garden was, even in her bra and slip...(smiling)..she was there. So it gives me so much pleasure and joy to see my mom just light up, not only for the colors that she loves, but because it gives her senses a lot to be joyful about. She can go outside at any time and talk to a lizard (when it's not cold) or try to smell a scentless rose that is still blooming or listen to the water falling in the pool or brush against the old basil bush. I see the small changes in her since coming here and her communication skills have gotten much better. Sometimes when I come home from work in the dark, I can tell that she has been outside sweeping the driveway and I just smile, because I know that she is comfortable and thinks of our house as her own. Many are not so blessed to be able to enjoy their loved one because of this crippling disease, but as her caregiver whose gardens bring her much joy, being able to experience her happiness with what and how i do something for anyone to enjoy at their best or worst times, is the best gift that I could ask for.

 

Although I have not had that in my immediate family,,I admire what you do !! Enjoy her while you can !! Only God knows when that may end !!

 

Hummer, you are blessed, but not as blessed as your mother. I just wish I could have such happy memories of being with my mother.
May you both enjoy several years together, gardening and letting Hattie while she is looking down at you two, know she is remembered fondly.

 

Thank you @mart, @marlingardener.

 

It's beautiful

 

Hummer, that was such a touching narrative. Seriously.
If there was ever a "feel good " thread posted on here, that was it!
You are not just a gardener with dirty hands and green thumbs, but you are a sensitive and social person with the ability to eloquently put down in words this new situation, how it impacts you and your family and the little aspects that sound so endearing and will be such sweet memories for you. What a lady you are.

 

Extending a household with another member (or two) can be such a blessing as you have so eloquently expressed. Your grace with the new circumstances is bringing new joy to both you and your mum making your house even more of a home. I know for our own household the added bodies have added much laughter, good food and helping hands. Unexpected or unfortunate circumstances can turn out to be blessings in disguise. Thank you for sharing

 

You two made my day. Thanks for sharing your experience!

 

Thank you for sharing you and your Mom with us Beautiful.

 

I thought of yall today

 

Heh, heh, heh--- Good one, mate.
That en-compasses the whole range of romance, doesn't it.

 

Love has more colors than any garden.

 

I shall have to think about that one, Dirt. I see similarities, in fact there are several gardening euphemisms that can be used when talking about romance and so forth. Sometimes you see them in texts of songs and sometimes one uses them when chatting up a bird. Of course I don't do that anymore, but back in the day.... chuckle.

 

Hi Everyone...thank you for the kind words/comments and laughs. I always loved penning my words and thought that I could/can help someone else look at this disease as anything but a curse...a chance to get it right and love on that person and each other as much as possible. Again Thank You all for allowing me to vent and express my thoughts and feelings.

**Side Note: I just found out Friday, through extensive testing called Boston Heart...a boatload of blood taken, that with everything turning my hormones and insides wacky before the testing, I too, have the gene for Alzheimers. So with all this being said, I am taking the necessary steps to keep that gene from showing its ugly face too soon. My garden will become something that they have never seen in my neighborhood, as much fresh fruit and veggies as possible for all of us. I have completely changed my mom's diet as we pray to repair some of the issues going on with her..bp, diabetic, cholestrol. We all are on a not so strict keto diet and have been since Jan. 5, 2020. It's amazing how much of a brain fog i had been living in for years!! No sugars, no bread, very, very, very little starch, if any! I signed up to jumpstart an exercise routine for this Thursday. I'm ready to be fit once again.

Oh we have a new family member!! He is a Ragdoll, 9 month old kitten, the size of his full grown father already, named Sinatra after old Blue Eyes himself. His original name is Frankie, but since he doesn't know it yet....why not Sinatra? Beautiful cat! I'll post pics later. He has been a huge stress reliever for me already..he's my service animal without him knowing it....hehe. Mom is loving him, whenever we see him. Still in that hiding phase at the moment.