Cricket.

Discussion in 'Jokes and Games' started by eileen, Jul 29, 2005.

  1. eileen

    eileen Resident Taxonomist Staff Member Moderator Plants Contributor

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    What follows is an extract of an email I received from a friend that seems to be taking a bit of a dig at the English cricket team. ;) ;)
    I hasten to add that he didn't write it, but I felt you should know about it.

    "Let the Pommy cricket bashing commence..

    Q. What does Geraint Jones and Michael Jackson have in common?
    A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason

    Q. What is the height of optimism?
    A. An English batsman applying sunscreen.

    Q. What does Ashley Giles put in his hands to make sure the next ball
    almost always takes a wicket?
    A. A bat.

    Q. What would Glen McGrath be if he was an Englishman?
    A. An allrounder.

    Q. What advantage do Kevin Pieterson, Andrew Strauss, Geraint Jones and
    Simon Jones have over the rest of their team-mates?
    A. At least they can say they're not really English.

    Q. What is the English version of a hat-trick?
    A. Three runs in three balls.

    Q. What do you call an Englishman with 100 runs against his name?
    A. A bowler.

    Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English
    batsmen?
    A. The walk back to the pavilion.

    Q. Who has the easiest job in the English squad?
    A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.

    Q. What does 'Ashes' stand for?
    A. Another Sad Horrific English Series.

    Q. Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the English team?
    A. The person who ironed the cricket whites."

    Thanks for that one Bill. :D :D
     
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