Feel free to add your own verse.

Discussion in 'Jokes and Games' started by eileen, Dec 26, 2006.

  1. eileen

    eileen Resident Taxonomist Staff Member Moderator Plants Contributor

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    Nursery rhymes with a difference:

    Now that Christmas has come Jack Spratt and Tom Thumb
    Are drinking far more than they should,
    Bo Peep and her sheep have collapsed in a heap
    And Miss Muffets's not feeling too good.

    There's little Jack Horner being sick in his corner
    While Santa's stoned out of his skin;
    As for poor old Boy Blue he's prostrate in the loo
    After overdoing the brandy and gin.

    And Old King Cole, that merry old soul,
    Was drunk as a skunk its true,
    He called for his fiddle and hi diddle diddle
    Used language that's strictly taboo.

    The three blind mice took their drinks with ice
    so the effect took a little while longer
    While Mary Mary, quite contrary
    Drank hers a heck of a lot stronger.
     
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  3. zuzu's petals

    zuzu's petals Silly Old Bat Plants Contributor

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    And there's Humpty Dumpty, he's looking quite grumpy
    And he's got a new crack in his shell.
    It seems Jack and Jill rolled him down a steep hill,
    When they're drinking, that pair's mean as hell.
     
  4. reggaefan

    reggaefan Official Poet Laureate

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    Now Winnie the pooh and Tigger too
    found little boy blue in the loo
    took his cash and bought honey beer
    now they too are drunk I fear.
     
  5. zuzu's petals

    zuzu's petals Silly Old Bat Plants Contributor

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    The three little pigs, dressed in drag, wearing wigs,
    are dancing with Wee Willie Winkie,
    while Old Mother Hubbard is raiding the cupboard,
    saying "I'll fix me one more little drinkie."
     



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  6. Primsong

    Primsong Young Pine

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    Mary and her little Lamb
    Are sitting 'neath the table,
    No doubt Mary would ride him home
    If e'er the Lamb were able -
    It seems they both have had too much;
    And that bleating laugh's no sham,
    It is the sound one's bound to get
    When squeezing a brandied lamb.
     
  7. reggaefan

    reggaefan Official Poet Laureate

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    The Fox and hound are sleeping
    off there drunken spree,
    Christopher Robin had too much egg nog
    and fell out of a tree.
     
  8. eileen

    eileen Resident Taxonomist Staff Member Moderator Plants Contributor

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    MORE - MORE!!!!! :D
     
  9. Frank

    Frank GardenStew Founder Staff Member Administrator

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    Hey, diddle, diddle,
    The cat did a piddle,
    The cow jumped over its mess.
    The little dog coughed
    Because of the smoke,
    And the dish ran away with the barmaid
     
  10. eileen

    eileen Resident Taxonomist Staff Member Moderator Plants Contributor

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    Hickory dickory dock,
    the drunk ran up the clock,
    the clock struck three
    now hes a she
    hickory dickory dock!!

    Mary Mary, legs so hairy
    How does your bar-bill grow
    With rum & coke
    And cigars bespoke
    And brandies lined up in a row.
     
  11. Primsong

    Primsong Young Pine

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    Way up under the rafters,
    Swung the itsy-bitsy spider,
    It's web a wild and tangled knot,
    From drinking too much cider.
    The waterspout it sought to climb
    Was filled, in fact, with rum -
    And by the time it washed that spider out
    The jiggin' and reelin' was numb.
     
  12. reggaefan

    reggaefan Official Poet Laureate

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    Peter Piper choked on a pepper,
    Humpty Dumpty tried the Heinlic
    then they both got pickled,
    on too many gin and tonic.
     
  13. glendann

    glendann Official Garden Angel

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    Mary Mary isn't quiet so contrary
    She's out in the garden sipping on Sherry
    Planting all sorts of plants that will grow
    She giggles and laughs and plants all she found to sow.
     
  14. zuzu's petals

    zuzu's petals Silly Old Bat Plants Contributor

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    The fox and the hound are swilling them down
    old grudges, for now, are forgotten.
    But truce will be ended, mayhem intended,
    when swollen heads make them feel rotten.
     
  15. glendann

    glendann Official Garden Angel

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    Little Bo Peep lost her sheep
    as she went to sleep
    while sipping on rum.
    Now Little Bo Peep has no sheep boy that was really dumb
     
  16. eileen

    eileen Resident Taxonomist Staff Member Moderator Plants Contributor

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    :sete_005: :sete_005: Glenda - so funny!!!
     

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