My husband participates in a beekeeping forum, and in the winter, beekeepers need something to keep busy. One of the ladies on the forum, Hobie, writes alternative lyrics to well-known carols. She has given permission for her song to be spread far and wide (she said the insanity shouldn't be confined to just a beekeeping forum!). Here are two gardening carols. The first, which inspired Hobie and the gardening insanity, is from Janine Pineo's gardening column in the Bangor Maine Daily News, Dec. 2008: Carol of the Worms by Janine Pineo (Carol of the Bells) Sing of the worm Soft, squishy worm Calling all day: "Throw scraps this way." Warm weather here Sunlight they fear Winter arrives Dig deep or die Casting away Working all day Making new dirt For flower spurts. Without their toil Say "goodbye, soil" And to the trees For Christmas needs Robins have found Worms without sound 'Neath hill and dale Rare do they fail. Bring on the spring How the world sings For now the roots Fuel new shoots Merry, merry, merry, merry castings Merry, merry, merry, merry castings More, more they give Helping us live May we atone Keep green our homes Casting away Casting away The next two are by Hobie, inspired by the previous song: Cabbage Worms are Comin' To Town(Santa Claus is Comin' to Town) You better watch out You better inspect With their camouflage They're hard to detect Cabbage worms are coming to town! I'm lifting each leaf, And checking it twice; I really doubt those black specks are from mice. Cabbage worms are coming to town! White butterflies were pretty A-flitting 'round my crop But now those green worms chew and eat And it seems they'll never stop! Cruciferae sprouts and Brassica leaves It matters not to these little thieves Cabbage worms are coming to town Cabbage worms are coming to town White butterflies were pretty Should've read my garden tome If I had only known they would Call my broccoli their home You better wash well You better rinse deep You never can tell To where they might creep Cabbage worms are coming to town Ooh, you might hear a shout You might hear a scream If your veggie side dish Has "extra protein"! Cabbage worms are coming to town Cabbage worms are coming Cabbage worms are coming Cabbage worms are coming to town! And if you don't wake up at 2 a.m. humming that little ditty, here's another written by Hobie: Zucchinis are Piled Knee-High!(Angels We Have Heard On High) Zucchinis are piled knee-high, More still growing on the vine And our neighbors in reply Start their yearly groan and whine Zu u-u-u-u-u u-u-u-u-u u-u-u-u-ucchini, in excess is growing! Zu u-u-u-u-u u-u-u-u-u u-u-u-u-ucchini, kitchen over-flowing! Making bread and casserole, Muffins, fritters, pizza too. Soup and braised with escarole, Baked and broiled and with tofu. Zu u-u-u-u-u u-u-u-u-u u-u-u-u-ucchini, why does it keep growing? Zu u-u-u-u-u u-u-u-u-u u-u-u-u-ucchini, was I crazy sowing? Giving squash from door to door My zucchini serenade In the garden there's still more Neighbors hide and draw the shades. Zu u-u-u-u-u u-u-u-u-u u-u-u-u-ucchini, in excess is growing! Zu u-u-u-u-u u-u-u-u-u u-u-u-u-ucchini, in excess is growing!