How to walk a human. A dog's guide.

Discussion in 'Pets' started by eileen, Aug 29, 2023.

  1. eileen

    eileen Resident Taxonomist Staff Member Moderator Plants Contributor

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    Humans need exercise. If they don't get it they become 'chubby.' It's up to us to save them.
    !. Allow your human to tether themselves to you. This keeps them from wandering off or running away.
    2. Your human probably needs breaks. Be considerate and stop and sniff often.
    3. Bark frequently. Humans have a short attention span.
    4. When you go 'to the bathroom' walk away. If you have trained your human correctly they will pick it up. Good aerobics for them.
    5. Periodically drag your human as fast as you can. This is called interval training.
    6. Do not allow your human to shorten the walk. They are being lazy. Sit in protest if you must.
    7. Once you are home allow your human to remove their tether then lick their face many ties. This is positive reinforcement for a job well done.
     
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  3. Daniel W

    Daniel W Young Pine

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    Encourage your human to carry a bag of treats. Occasionally sit and refuse to move until a treat is given. This trains them to be more obecient.
     
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  4. S-H

    S-H Hardy Maple

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    Funniest thing I've read this week. And yes, it's all true! :snicker:
     
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  5. Logan

    Logan Strong Ash

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    When we used to go dog training, it wasn't the dog that was trained it was the human.
    When you want to go out just sit in front of the human until they give up.
     

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