A hillbilly walked into a hardware store and asked for a saw that would cut down five trees in an hour. The salesman recommended the top-of-the-line chainsaw, so the man bought it. The next day the hillbilly came back in a rage. He held up the chainsaw and said, “You swindled me! This rotten thing only cut down one tree, and it took all day to do it!” The salesman took the chainsaw and started it up to see what was wrong and the hillbilly said, “What’s that noise?”
A man asked one of his employees, “Do you believe in life after death?” “Yes, sir,” replied the new employee. “I thought you would,” said the boss. “Yesterday after you left to go to your brother's funeral, he stopped by to see you.”
A guy was driving his car along a narrow country lane when all of a sudden; a farmer pulls out of a field and onto the road driving a huge tractor. The guy reacts quickly and turns into the field avoiding the tractor. Thinking he was lucky to escape, he turned the car around and went after the farmer. When he stopped the farmer he said “Do you know we nearly had an accident back there”. “Yes” said the farmer, “I just got out of that field in time”.
Getting away for quiet weekends, a couple relax in their motor home. But they were frequently disturbed by unwelcome visits from other campers. They devised a plan to give them the privacy that the wanted. Each time they go to the motor home they place a sign on the door: "Insurance agent. Ask about our term-life package."
