Plants/Gardening As A Stress Reducer

Discussion in 'Fruit and Veg Gardening' started by hummerbum, May 15, 2018.

  1. hummerbum

    hummerbum In Flower

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    Many of you don't know, but my mother was diagnosed with Dementia a few months ago and I have been on the road back and forth to her house (1 1/2 hrs away..she lives alone) every weekend since March. I'm telling you all that to say this, each and every time that I go home, I can't wait to come back to my plants (hubby is right in there too...lol) to talk to them and relieve the mental stress that i'm going through. The physical does not compare to the mental and i can safely say without a doubt, that if I didn't have these babies, I would be in a world of hurt at this point. They are doing wonderful and I am truly thankful that they are there for me to care for them as they care for me. When I sowed the seeds in January, we knew that it was only a matter of time before mom could no longer hide what she is going through...just didn't think that those plants would become something that I actually rely on to ease some my mental anguish. In turn, they are doing wonderfully, even producing fruit and I can continue to do what I have to for her when the need arises. These are the babies started January, 2018.

    This is growing hydroponically
    Red Robin Tomato.jpg

    Blossoms & Fruit on RR Tomato.jpg

    1st Tomato.jpg
    Early Girl
    Early Girl Tomato.jpg

    More Tomatoes.jpg

    Many Tomatoes.jpg

    Green Beans, Chard, Okra etc.jpg
    The view now.jpg
     
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  3. toni

    toni Mistress of Garden Junque Staff Member Moderator Plants Contributor

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    So sorry to hear about your Mom. My Dad lingered that way for 9 years, my Mom for 3 yrs. I wasn't gardening at the beginning of those times but I knew I had to start, my plants and feeding the birds gave me someone to talk to and get some of the stress out of my head.
    We were pretty much doing the same as you for all of last year. Randy was making the 1 1/2 hour trip sometimes 3 times a week and I was going with him as much as possible to help his mom as his dad was dying and then afterwards getting paper work and legal things taken care of.

    The thing about plants and critters is you can tell them exactly how you feel without holding back what humans would consider to be the "bad" thoughts and feelings and they will grow so you will have something beautiful to look at , release their fragrance for you to ease your mind , sing for you to lift your spirit...without asking for much in return.
     
    Last edited: May 15, 2018
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  4. eileen

    eileen Resident Taxonomist Staff Member Moderator Plants Contributor

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    It's certainly a very trying time for you hummerbum and I'm just glad that you have something to relieve all the stress at a time like this. Gardening certainly takes your mind of problems and being amongst plants can help so much.
     
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  5. Cayuga Morning

    Cayuga Morning Hardy Maple Plants Contributor

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    I do agree! Gardening is great for the heart, the mind, the soul. I stop by my community garden several times a week on my way home. Most mornings before work I putter for a bit in my perennial garden at home. It is reviving.

    Hummerbum I am so sorry that your Mom is so sick. It is tough watching our parents slowly become enfeebled...no matter what we do or how much we love them. There is something rejuvenating about playing in the soil with plants that grow and live.

    I wish you well with your mom. My sister in law just died of Lewy Body Dimentia. My poor brother has been taking care of her for years. Now he is bereft & does not know to do with himself.
     
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  6. hummerbum

    hummerbum In Flower

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    Yes Toni...i think you may remember my Dad passing almost 4 years ago from Dementia. It is hard but the one thing that really gives me comfort with her, is that she reminds me every time that I am just like her mother was when it came to gardening. She, my aunts and cousins remember that I was the one who always stayed in the yard/garden with Grandma (her mother, who also was stricken with Dementia and we buried her on 9/11). She kept going to her garden, sometimes with only her slip and bra...(gotta love her). She got so much joy out of her plants, just as i do.

    Thank you Eileen and Cayuga for the kind words.
     
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  7. mart

    mart Hardy Maple

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    Everyone here wishes you didn`t have to do this but since you do,, remember we are here for you if you ever need a bunch of friends for support !
     
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  8. marlingardener

    marlingardener Strong Ash

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    Hummer, all I can say is that I wish you well. As Mart said, you have a load of friends here, and we all will pitch in and help support you.
     
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  9. carolyn

    carolyn Strong Ash

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    Aww Hummer. I am so sorry. I think many of us know exactly what you are going through. I live right next door to my inlaws thankfully... or not. I don't have POA but my dearest husband does... and they are on the struggle buggy, too. he has dementia and she is legally blind. I don't know if you have siblings to help and if not... that is the way it is. Make sure you have all the paperwork in order so you can make decisions for her. POA, living will, final directives, DNR if she has that wish, final will and testament... etc. otherwise your hands are tied as to just how much help you can give her. My husband has two brothers who don't help so it is all up to us. my heart goes out to you.
     
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  10. hummerbum

    hummerbum In Flower

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    Thank you Mart, Marlingardener and Carolyn all so much...as yes I will lean on you all for strength. Carolyn, I do have a brother who is in NC but is unable to do the physical stuff with her at this point. I just happened to be blessed with an amazing employer who decided last year, that we should have a day off during the week and mine is on Fridays. (God knows what you need before you do) I make all of her appts for Fridays, if possible. I've gotten her stable now, so I do not have to go so often now. I have our whole town on alert!!! They have my number. I thought that it was important for everyone to be aware of her illness (mostly my classmates). She also is going to be visited by my high school math teacher (3 houses down), who will be taking her to different places (both are loners, but good friends.) to eat and get out and to also take her to any appts that I really do not have to be there for. It has already started and boy, did I need that and so did Mom. She is doing well at this point and I pay her bills for her online. Technology is amazing. She is well secured (by the system and weapons...lol) and monitored in the home and by my phone...lol. Carolyn, most of what you mentioned is now in place. I had been trying her to get those docs done for 2 years when i saw it coming and she fought us until February, when she thought that she was going to loose her home and needed our help (very fiesty little lady, she is)..going back in June to complete her will and caregiver agreement. This was my first weekend in my own home since March and it was wonderful. My plants have been my saving grace and I've run out of lower space...and still have draft lemon and lime trees coming...lol...My son and daughter in law gave me a hibiscus tree..(woohoo...hibiscus tea yes) Here is just a few shots of my hydro tomato (red robin) and one side of my patio. Again, thank you all for your kind words and for your support!! Love To All! 5-21-18.jpg
    Pic 2 (5-21-18).jpg
    Roots of hydro tomato
    Roots.jpg
     
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  11. carolyn

    carolyn Strong Ash

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    stay strong. no one else can do this for you but we are rooting for you.
     
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