How to break a little girl's heart

Category: Garden | Posted: Thu Sep 18, 2008 8:23 pm

Our plum tree had gotten way too tall and wide, and we knew we would have to take action this autumn. We should have dealt with it every year of course, but life isn't always what it should have been, so the tree has been neglected. We weren't prepared for the masses of plums we got this year, though, and we were certainly not prepared for snapping branches. The poor tree has been looking rather lop-sided and sorry, and I've tried to gather courage to actually do something to it.

Yesterday I had that courage, so I dug out the alligator saw and some long cords and set to work. I started by removing the snapped branches, and continued to saw off the rather thick, straight upwards-growing branches before finishing off with a couple of rather big limbs that grew in the wrong direction. The tree crown looked a lot more harmonic and the tree ended up being about 4 meters tall instead of 7. I was very pleased with my efforts as I started to cut the sawn-off limbs and branches into smaller, more managable parts.

Suddenly I realized that my youngest sat in the plum tree and cried. I switched the saw off and went over to check if she'd hurt herself. The poor, little thing cried so hard she could hardly breathe, let alone talk, but managed to tell me that I had ruined her tree! I had cut off both her favourite branches and now she wouldn't be able to climb so high anymore. No matter how I reasoned with her she kept going. In the end I admitted defeat and went to fetch me some coffee. The poor girl still sat in the tree and cried. Our neighbour came out to try and offer some comfort, but to no avail. The little one cried for an hour and a half, and I felt like the worst mother in the world!

I'm afraid that next time I dig out the saw the girls will chain themselves to their favourite trees. Being a gardening mother isn't always a lot of fun. *sigh*

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dooley wrote on Thu Sep 18, 2008 9:12 pm:

I would like to say that she will get over it, but that's not exactly true is it? Did you try telling her that the tree was sick and needed help and now it will grow sturdy and strong again. I guess children can envision something that's going to happen in a year or two or three. I hope she cheers up soon. dooley

playtime8978 wrote on Thu Sep 18, 2008 10:02 pm:

awe bless her, but dooley has the right idea saying the tree was sick and needed help, the things little ones break their hearts over seem so small yet are such a big deal to them, your not a bad mum at all just a mum in a difficult situation

Sjoerd wrote on Thu Sep 18, 2008 10:37 pm:

What a sad story, Droopy. I know just how she felt. I can remember things like that from my childhood.
There's not much to say, really. It's all a part of a childhood.
I wonder if my own sad days have resulted in me being such an avid nature-lover and gardner.
If it can be linked to such childhood sorrows...I guess I could call it the "upside of trauma".
My fingers are crossed for that little sweetie.
Maybe that tree will make new branches for her to climb in......REAL SOON. :D

CritterPainter wrote on Thu Sep 18, 2008 11:44 pm:

Oh, what a hard thing to take! I know I did a few things unwittingly that broke my son's heart when he was little, a very hard thing for a mommy. I'm so sorry :(

petunia wrote on Fri Sep 19, 2008 1:52 am:

Droopy: I have to say ,I know where your coming from. I wouldn't have beleived it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. My hubby started cutting limbs from a pine tree that went dead last year. Our daughter who was 10 in sept. put her arms around that old pine tree and cried for at least 45 minutes. she was very mad at her dad for cutting down the limbs. she said she wouldn't be able to climb that tree now, And that he wasn't to go any further in cutting it down completly. I had a hard time beleiving a child could get attached to something like a tree.

Biita wrote on Fri Sep 19, 2008 6:27 am:

I'm very sorry to hear this about your daughter Droopy. But sometimes we attach ourselves spiritually to something, and it does hurt when it hurts. Maybe help her to make the tree better. Give it water, manure, i don't know, what ever a tree needs to help grow, that way she can "heal" her friend.

Droopy wrote on Fri Sep 19, 2008 7:08 am:

Thank you all for understanding her. I know I was saddened when big trees were taken down, or big limbs were cut off, because we loved to climb trees and of course they were all "favourites".

She did understand why we had to cut it, but the disappointment when her favourite limb disappeared was just too much I guess.

glendann wrote on Sat Sep 20, 2008 6:13 pm:

I am so sorry Droopy but I know how she feels.I was a tomboy all my life and I had lots of limbs cut that made me cry.My dad love to trim trees.She will get over it in time and find other limbs to sit on.

Droopy wrote on Sat Sep 20, 2008 9:29 pm:

Me too, glendann. We shall have to leave one of the birches untouched I guess, for the girls' enjoyment.

dooley wrote on Sun Sep 21, 2008 3:43 am:

Yes, climbing trees is not just for boys. I climbed my share while I was growing. I was never stuck in one or fell out of one. I did break my arm three times in my lifetime but not by falling from trees. Kids are like little monkeys and are very agile. dooley

Kratz7 wrote on Mon Sep 29, 2008 10:20 pm:

I used to climb trees when I was a little girl. Growing up with 4 brothers and 2 sisters one of us was always in a tree. I had a favorite tree, but I was lucky enough to have it for my whole childhood as it was at my grandparent's house.

Why not plant another tree with this little girl and let her watch it grow and take care of it. That way she will have good memories of a "new" tree that she helped to plant and nurture. And when she grows up and has children of her own, she can tell them the story. And her children can enjoy the "new" tree.

Just a suggestion. :-}

Kratz7

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