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Another day in paradise.
Well I helped a friend out last night doing some carpentry work at his home which made me feel quite good and we got a lot accomplished. I got a good nights sleep and feel hopeful about what today has in store for me. I have already received a couple of collections calls but I am used to them by now and there is nothing I can do as I have no money. I have been filling out job applications all morning in hopes that my luck will change soon. I have the daunting task of sitting down and going through all of my bills this morning to see what is the most important and needs to be payed first with what little money I have coming to me on Thursday. I am not sure why bad things happen to good people. I am a hard working honest person that loves everyone and would do anything for anyone. I feel that I am being punished for something that I did but I don't know what it could possibly be. I have never been one that needs material things, just the necessities to survive. Maybe take the wife and kids to eat once in a while or go to a movie. One thing that I have to honestly say kind of disappoints me is there are two people I know that have spent a combines 15 years in prison that both have decent paying jobs. One makes 13 bucks an hour and the other I believe is 10 and they both get 50 hours a week. Now let me say that these are two very good friends of mine and that I am extremely happy for them that they could find work after being incarcerated. But one part of me is jealous. IS that wrong? I have always followed the law and lived a healthy honest lifestyle.
I am trying to motivate myself to do some stuff around the house today to keep my mind off of things but it is difficult because I know that it will not make me any money to clean the bathroom or vacuum the rugs.
I think the main issue I am having is that I just don't understand why? I have looked everywhere I can possibly think of and still nothing.
I know some reading this may think I should suck it up and stop complaining and you know what your probably right, but that is fairly easy to do if you are not in the same shoes.
I started talking to god again last night for the first time in a while. I had given up for a bit because I dididn'think he was listening but I need to have belief in something. The only thing I have not done is put all my faith in god knowing that he will do the right thing. IT is hard for me to trust in ananythingow after being screwed so many times. But I know and trust that god would never do that to anyone.
It may seem like he is not listening or does not care but I know firmly believe that he has a plan for everyone and everything and I am hoping that I am part of that plan.
I have never been so scared in my entire life about the future. It always seemed to have a way of working out before now and things would be ok. I am tired of having to tell my wife and girls that we don't have money to do something or to get certain things. I hate the look of sadness on there faces that I see.
I just don't know. That is all I can think of at the moment but maybe I will have some positive news later today.
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You can drive yourself crazy, as you have found out, by trying to figure out what you did wrong to deserve this run of bad things in your life and/or what someone else did right to deserve the run of good things in their life.
I have a saying that i apply to my life. Infact its my motto on here. Have faith in what you believe, or don't believe at all. That applys to everything in life. Your faith, your living, your learning, and your thinking. I know this is hard sometimes, but if you believe in yourself, have faith in yourself, and know what you can do, then believe it, and believe positively. Even when the chips are down, and not in your favor, have faith in all.
God will answer your prayers. The answer will come at His time. And it may not be what you have prayed for. It will be what He sees is the best for you.
I've been where you are too, and the worst is to feel so useless and unneeded. You're doing everything you possibly can, and you will get results from your hard work. Try to keep your smile on your face even though it's tough at times.
You have already taken a very big step in the right direction and opened your heart up to the Lord...keep talking to Him, bear your faith in His ways. It doesn't matter how many times you have been "screwed", we are to store our treasures up in Heaven, not on this earth. Find a scripture in your Bible that will bring you through your current situation and carry it with you. When doubt sets in, speak the scripture that you have chosen. Write it down, put it in your pocket, plaster it on your bathroom mirror and repeat as necessary. And cleaning your bathrooms and rugs is a good thing. You have to be faithful with the small things in life before God hands you the larger things :) God Bless you and you're in my prayers for healing and prosperity!
Thank you all be sure to check out todays blog entry.