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Things CATS Must Try To Remember!

Category: Humor??? | Posted: Sun Dec 10, 2006 9:46 pm

1. As if!!! Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself.

2. I should not assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves.

3. If I put a live mouse in my food bowl, I should not expect it to stay there until I get hungry.

4. The guinea pig likes to sleep once in a while. I will not watch him constantly.

5. If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.

6. I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and growl at nothing right after my human has finished watching Steven King movies.

7. Television and computer screens do not exist to back light my lovely tail.

8. No matter how dangly and attractive they are, my human's earrings are not cat toys.

9. If I play 'dead cat on the stairs' while people are trying to bring in groceries or laundry, one of these days it will really come true.

10. My human is capable of cooking bacon and eggs without my help.

11. The canned cat food is already dead. I do not need to kill it by swatting bits of it all over the floor.

12. I am a carnivore. Potted plants are not meat.

13. I will never be able to walk on the ceiling, and staring up the wall and screaming at it will not bring it any closer.

14. It is not a good idea to try to lap up the powdered creamer before it all dissolves in the boiling tea.

15. The goldfish likes living in water and must be allowed to remain in its bowl.

16. If my human wants to share her sandwich with me, she will give me a piece. She will notice if I start eating it from the other end.

17. I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside.

18. The large dog in the back yard has lived there for six years. I will not freak out every time I see it.

19. I am a neutered cat, not a peacock, and prancing around with my tail fluffed up will not make my parts grow back.

20. If I must give a present to my human's overnight guests, my toy mouse is much more socially acceptable than a live cockroach, even if it isn't as tasty.


Last edited: Sun Dec 10, 2006 9:53 pm

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Comments

 

eileen wrote on Sun Dec 10, 2006 11:58 pm:


Mary those are just too funny!!! I love number 6!!!!!!




 

GardenFanantic wrote on Sun Dec 10, 2006 11:59 pm:


Mary????




 

eileen wrote on Mon Dec 11, 2006 12:35 am:


Sorry - my eyes got so blurred with laughter tears I couldn't see what I was typing - my excuse and I'm sticking to it!!! LOL




 

GardenFanantic wrote on Mon Dec 11, 2006 12:42 am:


HEHEHE no problem.




 

glendann wrote on Mon Dec 11, 2006 5:25 pm:


GF I do love all of them but # 9 is just to much.





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