Three types of parents

Category: The Kids | Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 12:10 am

Present day and I am sitting here thinking about all of the things we have been through as a family. After the birthday dinner and night in the woods, came the family vacation. That iwll be the next post.

The one thing I have come to understand is that parents fall in to three groups:
1)Confront the situation, whether in the right way or the wrong way.
2)Want to help but do not know how.
3) Completely ignore the situation and continue on with their own lives.

Some parents fall into only one category and others fall into more than one of the categories, depending on where they are in the learning process.

Confront the situation: This would be the parent who will confront the situation with a calm voice and a Love and Logic approach; or the parent who reacts to the situation with yelling and a 'you are worthless' attitude.

Want to help but do not know how: This is a tough one. To know you want to help your child but are unable to find the help you, as a parent need, to help the child.

Completely ignore the situation: This is a very sad type of parent. Unfortunately, this is also the type of parent that I have seen the most in relation to my son's friends over the years.

After the overdose, I spent hours on the phone. The first of many hours on the phone to be spent. I made a doctor's appointment for a physical for him and requested a standing order with the lab for random drug tests. The first test was positive, just days after the overdose.

From there, after several failed attempts at finding a helpful path, I was able to get him evaluated for the local mental health hospital. They placed him in a one week day program.

He came out of that with a diagnosis of depression and a prescription of Prozac. If I knew then what I know now, I would have laughed at them, threw the prescription away, and kept looking for the right kind of help.

But I did not know. So counseling began, with weekly visits that went no where . Not to mention the random drug tests which continued to be positive. But I give it time in hopes that it will help. I mean really, what else could I do?

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Gardenstew wrote on Thu Apr 27, 2006 2:41 pm:

Logical classification there MC, from someone who has earned the right to do so.

>> If I knew then what I know now, I would have laughed at them, threw the prescription away, and kept looking for the right kind of help.

Which exactly is the right kind of help?

contrareeone wrote on Thu Apr 27, 2006 4:20 pm:

having been a professional parent for decades, I'm not sure we know what is the right kind of help at the time.
I think it is important to continue trying different things, different approaches, just like we do when we garden.
No matter what the advice says on the little stake that comes with a new plant.........sometimes it just won't grow where it is "supposed" to. So, we put it in a pot, move it to a different garden, bring it indoors and oft times........give it to another gardener to tend to it. Many parallels one can draw here....

But, right kind??? I think kids are too individual; each situation is unique unto itself.

Remember......parenting is the only place one has to become an expert with NO experience. (and always plenty of critics!)