Blog Author
heathermt75
(view profile)
 


In Loving Memory of my Daddy- Glendann's husband

Category: My Family | Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 7:26 am

10 years ago, I lost my best friend, my Daddy. He had throat cancer and his death wasn't quick at all. He suffered so much those last few days. It still hurts today like it did back then. For some weird reason that Friday before he passed away, my friend Marisa asked me if instead of going to our favorite club, could we just take a trip back home. So that is what we did. But on the way to our home town, Marisa's grandmother called her cell phone and asked her where we were and she told her that we were on our way home and she said to drive faster because my daddy had just went into a coma. So poor Marisa floored it to Madisonville, and this whole time, she didn't want to tell me about daddy. She just wanted to get me there.

So when I got there, I stayed by his side. I didn't sleep for 2 days straight and finally I was so exhausted I just went to get a little sleep. But I just put a pillow on the floor and slept next to daddy's hospital bed that was in our house. Then, like 30 minutes after I dozed off, I hear a voice say "Baby, when did you get here?" It was daddy, awake from the coma! I couldn't believe it! I told him that I had been there since Friday and when he realized that he had been in a coma, he knew God was ready for another angel. So that whole day, we all just sat around telling each other how much we loved each other and that we would take care of Mama for him. He refused to take the morphine that eased the pain because he knew that if he went back to sleep, he may never wake up. So he put it off for as long as he could and when he did...he slipped back into a coma. When you start the process of dying, your body can't regulate its temperature so you are hot one minute and sweating, then it would stop and a few minutes later, you would start sweating again. I spent most of those last days lying in the bed with him and when he would start to sweat; I would wipe his face off so sweat wouldn't roll into his eyes and burn them.

On that last day, my Aunt Carol and Uncle Sonny came over to visit and see if we needed anything. Daddy's hospice nurse had just changed all his bed sheets and gave him a bath and put new pajamas on him. My aunt and uncle were just about to leave and my mom and brother walked them outside. I was sitting next to my dad and was just watching him trying to breathe. Many of you may have never been around a person that is terminally ill, but in the last few days of life the person gets what they call the death rattle. It's a rattling or gurgling with each breath that is from secretions in the back of the throat. His breaths started to slow down and it would be like almost 60 seconds between each breath. So I ran to the door and screamed for my mom and the rest of my family that was about to leave and my mom, brother and I huddled around him and my mom and I held his hand and my brother was on the other side with his hand on my daddy's other arm. We just kept telling how much we loved him and that we would be ok and he could just let go and go be with Jesus. Then he took one last breath and we kept talking to him until I felt his pulse fade away...

I was so blessed to have been able to be there for him in those last few moments on earth. I think about him every day. I think the hardest thing about him being gone is that he never got to walk me down the aisle when I got married. He never got to hold his two precious grandsons. He would have spoiled them so much. And now that I am going through one of the toughest times of my life, I maybe almost 33 years old, but right now the thing I need the most is my daddy. I know he is watching over my sons and me, but it just isn't the same. I would give anything just to hear him call me Baby girl one more time. I miss his laugh, his hugs, his jokes...there are so many things...He was such a kind and loving man and he is greatly missed by many.

If your daddy is still alive, or even your mom...call them every day and tell them you love them.

Because we are never promised tomorrow

Daddy

"Uh huh dear", my daddy would say

Not sure of what he agreed to, he would quickly sneak away

The hood went up and down he went

Into that engine block

So engaged in that car, unaware of any clock

Hours later, there he was, still working away

He may stop for a pizza but then it's off to play

I'm not sure if those cars were even broke

You really can't be sure

But as daddy dove into them

He'd swear to you they were

There's nothing that made daddy smile like he did

As he worked away

Except if there were kids around

He loved to stop and play

There was something about daddy

That kids just had to adore

Maybe it was his unending patience

Or the way he came back for more

Or maybe it was the smile he tried to hide

The one that turned his forehead red

And gave him away when he lied

Or maybe it was those stories he told

Leaving work and on his way home

Laughing so hard

Trying to tell us of the chest

That started to roam

"I tried to give her directions" he laughed

As he recalled the fall

"I just can't believe, there it was, the whole breast and all!"

Daddy loved to play practical jokes

The ones that made you laugh until you cried

I'm not sure what I miss the most

Since my daddy died

I think that I miss him being my rock

The one whom I relied

I miss him so much

It's really hard

To not see his face

Or maybe what I miss the most

Is the strength of his embrace

No matter how hard I think

I just can't pick one

I miss each and everything

I miss us having fun

It hit me like a ton of bricks

Even though I had time to prepare

I'm sorry I wasn't ready

I thought you would always be there

But with a sigh, I'll blow you a kiss

You will always be the one I miss

By Misty Judson

I miss you Daddy!

2-17-1937 ~ 9-8-1998




This blog entry has been viewed 1164 times
You're reading one of many blogs on GardenStew.com.
Register for free and start your own blog today.


Comments

 

songlim18 wrote on Tue Sep 09, 2008 8:52 am:


I cannot help it and tears just roll down my eyes. I had to break away a couple of times to wipe my tears and continue to read between the lines. Pancreatic Cancer took my Daddy away in 1999. He was 67 then. Till this day, I could not forget how I felt during those difficult times. I had been Daddy's girl for 30 brilliant years and wish it continue till this day ... I share your sentiments, Misty.




 

Droopy wrote on Tue Sep 09, 2008 9:14 am:


I'm crying too. You'll never be prepared to lose loved ones, no matter how long you've got to prepare yourself. As long as your daddy lives on in your heart, he'll never be gone for you. Keep the memories alive.




 

eileen wrote on Tue Sep 09, 2008 9:34 am:


Oh Heather you summed up exactly how I felt when my father died!! I had such a lump in my throat reading your blog entry that I could hardly swallow. My dad was my best friend too and I miss him so much even now.




 

glendann wrote on Tue Sep 09, 2008 3:41 pm:


I can not say much of anything as my heart is still to heavy and it still hurts to much except I love you Johnny and will miss you until the day I'm with you again.




 

dooley wrote on Tue Sep 09, 2008 3:52 pm:


We were all with my dad at the hospital for days. He'd sleep and wake and the nurse told us one day it was okay to take a break so my younger sister went up to Flagstaff to get her kids some clean clothes and we went home to do some things and my other sister went to the airport to pick up her MIL and no one was there but my mom. That's when he died. I think he wanted it that way.
dooley




 

CritterPainter wrote on Tue Sep 09, 2008 8:43 pm:


You got me crying too. You are so blessed to have a daddy you loved so much that you can still write about it deeply and meaningfully long after he's gone.





Leave a Comment


Login or register to leave a comment.









Archives All Entries
June 2024
May 2024
April 2024
March 2024
February 2024
January 2024
December 2023
November 2023
October 2023
September 2023
August 2023
July 2023
June 2023
May 2023
April 2023
March 2023
February 2023
January 2023
December 2022
November 2022
October 2022
September 2022
August 2022
July 2022
June 2022
May 2022
April 2022
March 2022
February 2022
January 2022
December 2021
November 2021
October 2021
September 2021
August 2021
July 2021
June 2021
May 2021
April 2021
March 2021
February 2021
January 2021
December 2020
November 2020
October 2020
September 2020
August 2020
July 2020
June 2020
May 2020
April 2020
March 2020
February 2020
January 2020
December 2019
November 2019
October 2019
September 2019
August 2019
July 2019
June 2019
May 2019
April 2019
March 2019
February 2019
January 2019
December 2018
November 2018
October 2018
September 2018
August 2018
July 2018
June 2018
May 2018
April 2018
March 2018
February 2018
January 2018
December 2017
November 2017
October 2017
September 2017
August 2017
July 2017
June 2017
May 2017
April 2017
March 2017
February 2017
January 2017
December 2016
November 2016
October 2016
September 2016
August 2016
July 2016
June 2016
May 2016
April 2016
March 2016
February 2016
January 2016
December 2015
November 2015
October 2015
September 2015
August 2015
July 2015
June 2015
May 2015
April 2015
March 2015
February 2015
January 2015
December 2014
November 2014
October 2014
September 2014
August 2014
July 2014
June 2014
May 2014
April 2014
March 2014
February 2014
January 2014
December 2013
November 2013
October 2013
September 2013
August 2013
July 2013
June 2013
May 2013
April 2013
March 2013
February 2013
January 2013
December 2012
November 2012
October 2012
September 2012
August 2012
July 2012
June 2012
May 2012
April 2012
March 2012
February 2012
January 2012
December 2011
November 2011
October 2011
September 2011
August 2011
July 2011
June 2011
May 2011
April 2011
March 2011
February 2011
January 2011
December 2010
November 2010
October 2010
September 2010
August 2010
July 2010
June 2010
May 2010
April 2010
March 2010
February 2010
January 2010
December 2009
November 2009
October 2009
September 2009
August 2009
July 2009
June 2009
May 2009
April 2009
March 2009
February 2009
January 2009
December 2008
November 2008
October 2008
September 2008
August 2008
July 2008
June 2008
May 2008
April 2008
March 2008
February 2008
January 2008
December 2007
November 2007
October 2007
September 2007
August 2007
July 2007
June 2007
May 2007
April 2007
March 2007
February 2007
January 2007
December 2006
November 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006