Beginning of the never-ending battles

Category: The Kids | Posted: Tue Apr 18, 2006 3:46 pm

Age 12. That is how old my now 16 year old was when I began to suspect drugs.

It was the little things: Falling grades, tired all the time, cranky as all get out, change of friends, dropping out of things he enjoyed and lying. Little white lies at this point, but oh my, was he setting the stage for some real whoppers as he got older.

But he was my oldest so I told myself that it was normal stages for a pre-teen.

The once closeness that we had was disappearing as well. I think that is the part that was the hardest for me to understand at that time. We were usually inseparable, and he was beginning to stay as far away from me as he could. Again, I could justify it to myself by believing that it was normal stages. A young boy trying to find his own identity.

As for his brother, he was only 7 and oblivious to it all. But then, my youngest is really good at keeping things hidden. Born with Sensory Integration, he had enough of his own problems to deal with on a daily basis. Considering I received my first true hug from him at age 5...Well, that is for another post. And he did not get the F.A.P. (familial adenoma polyposis) diagnosis until age 10.

Yet another reason I tried to justify the older one's behavior. Was he jealous of the younger brother getting so much attention with the Sensory Disorder? Not to mention the divorce.

The boys were 6 and 11 when I decided to call a 14 year marriage unbearable, and filed for divorce. Chalked that up to the older child's behavior as well.

So although just the beginning of a long battle, I was not ready to admit that there were problems. For every problem, I had an excuse. Typical, and just the beginning.

I had not yet reached the "Mom has left the building" stage.

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jubabe296 wrote on Tue Apr 18, 2006 4:27 pm:

I'm so sorry about all that you are going through! And believe me I understand what it's like!! My oldest is 21 now and in a state jail for forgery because of drugs!! He started using drugs at about the same age as your son. My son has lied and stolen from us on numerous occasions. It's so heartbreaking to watch someone you love sooo much go into a downward spiral so out of control. Ours has been in and out of jail since about 17. His girlfriend is pregnant now and the baby is due in September, he has been going to all the drug rehab classes the jail offers. They are suppposed to move back in with us after he gets out of jail in October(he won't even be able to see his child when he or she is born) He says he is going to change for the baby and Rachel! We will have to just wait and see,but my grandchild and Rachel will be taken care of I promise to see to that!! I know it must take alot of courage and strength being a single mom and doing all that you do with your oldest and through the illnesses of your youngest!! You are an inspiration and a loving mom and you deserve a big thumbs up for it!! This site has alot of wonderful and thoughtful people on it and we will offer you lots of support!! Good luck with everything and I look forward to reading your blog in the future.
-julie-